Home By Marquel Another Thin Resolution

Another Thin Resolution

[embedyt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnQ-YWhPVZo[/embedyt]Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Third World Fantasy Section correspondent was watching Another Thin Man from an undisclosed location, when a carrier pigeon brought him the Times. He quickly read Five Guantánamo Prisoners Are Released to Kazakhstan.

Three detainees from Yemen and two from Tunisia were transferred from the military prison in Cuba. With the move, there are 127 prisoners left. Marquel wondered what’s in it for Kazakhstan. It has its own internal strife. Why take on five foreign Muslim terrorists?

Marquel asked the Kazakh consul.

“We have criminals. These are our first terrorists.” she said.

“Why would you want them?” Marquel inquired.

“We are now a modern nation. No modern nation lacks a terrorist threat. Now we have our own.” She said.

“When did  you get this idea” asked Marquel.

“It’s been many years. We have begged the U.S. for some Guantanamo detainees but they were always involved in internecine disputes over whether they were military detainees or criminal suspects. That took a decade to resolve.” She complained.

“The wheels of justice turn slowly,” Marquel remarked.

“It was a long unproductive period. We couldn’t get our rotation on the U.N. Security council because we were so untroubled.” She whined.

“Now you think you’ll get on it?” Marquel asked.

“For sure. When I walk in the General Assembly people put out their hands, clap me on the back and express their sympathies for living under terrorist threat.”

“And that’s good,” I asked.

“Oh yes. People listen to us now.” She said.

“Even though you asked for the terrorists.?” I asked.

 “Everyone knows terrorists don’t just appear. In one way or another a country gets the terrorists it asks for.” She asserted.
 “That’s certainly true of us,” I said.
“Well these five will eventually be trouble for us.” She said.
 “What have they done so far?” I asked.
“Nothing. They can’t.” She said.
 “Why” I asked.
“First they’ve been sedated since they arrived. Then they were starved, driven crazy, and lost all their personalities.” She said.
 “So how will you turn them back into terrorists?” I asked.
“Of course most of them weren’t really terrorists. They were chauffeurs or cooks, or messengers. Things like that. The U.S. couldn’t catch real terrorists, although the terrorists managed to capture a lot of Americans. It’s strange.” She observed.
 “What will your first step be?” I asked.
“Generally what you do is train them in terrorist techniques. We have plans to do that. Then you find a target for them and they will conduct a war of some kind. Once you’ve done that, they become real terrorists, then come back to Kazakhstan, and you, or we have a real problem.” She said.
 “That can’t be worth it,” I said.
“Oh but it is. First, we have already received funds from the U.S. to defend against the terrorist threat. Then we’ve already received funds to train our anti terrorists, those are our Guantanamo boys. After they become real terrorists and return to Kazakhstan, we will get full funding to defend against them. And the torture technique program is already started.” She said.
 “You don’t really want torture do you?” I asked.
“Of course not. We are a civilized country. We are offering orthodox priests for the torture training. They already engage in torture in their daily activities.” She said.
“That sounds like you have everything under control.”
“Yes and no. The most dangerous risk is if something happens to our terrorists. We have only five and the U.S. told us to take care of them because we’re getting no more. There’s a huge waiting list.” She commiserated.
 “How will you avoid that?” I asked.
“We’ll cross our fingers. The money is flowing. We’re doing okay.”
 I congratulated her and wondered who was next and how we can afford all this. Obama’s my man.
***
BY MARQUEL: Another Thin Solution

9 COMMENTS

  1. Marquel. over and over and over again you provide more insight than any mainstream big money media. Bravo!

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