Biden Compares La Guardia Airport to ‘Third World;’ Notes the lack of guaranteed health care is a “national embarrassment.”

The NY Times reported that Biden Compares La Guardia Airport to ‘Third World’ and asks where else except in the Third World do workers lack health care, the right not to be fired, a guaranteed living wage, retirement, six weeks of paid vacation annually, and a summer house.

Marquel asked Biden if he wasn’t confusing the First World with France where, at least until very recently, all workers enjoyed those benefits.

“Not at all,” said Biden, “and let’s not bring sex into this.”

“But I didn’t,” Marquel protested.

“You said I was thinking of France. I only do that late at night, and only if Jill is sleeping and won’t wake up,” said Biden unblushingly.

“But,” said Marquel, blushingly, “you compared LaGuardia to the Third World.”

“It seems to me it is,” said Biden. “Have you seen the lines of travelers all forced to raise their hands over their heads in a machine that exposes their private parts? It reminds me of Pakistan or India or Angola. Dictatorships. Military rule.”

“But,” I sputtered, “that happens all across the U.S.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Are you some kind of Commie?”

“Well, yes,” Marquel answered, “some kind. But it’s still true.”

“You and I,” said Biden, “obviously somehow have had different airport experiences.”

“I’m sure. I seldom take Air Force One.”

“Hey we do have a lot in common. Neither do I. I’m always on Air Force Two,” said the vice president, with his arm around my shoulder.

“So,” I said, “you really think the workers should have guaranteed health care, living wages, six weeks annual vacation and all?”

“What I saw at LaGuardia makes me suspect they should have even more. It’s like a third world country.” said the Veep.

“You said that already,” said Marquel. “But I think you’ll find that or worse at any U.S. airport.”

“You said that already,” said the VP. “Why don’t we seek common ground? This is a horrible airport.”

“I agree.”

“That’s the spirit,” said Biden, “let’s see if we can agree on more. It’s a shame and a stain on LaGuardia’s good name to run this airport like any banana republic.”

“Agreed.” I urged.

“Was his wife French too?” Asked Biden.

“Whose wife?” I asked.

Biden sighed. “LaGuardia.”

“I don’t know about his wife. But he was Italian.” said I.

“You said he was French,” argued Biden.

“I said you confused the First World with France.”

“It’s possible. They’re so hot aren’t they?” he asked, redenning.

“I guess so. You think so. But LaGuardia was Italian. Fiorello. A short little guy. Five foot two. Our shortest mayor. I don’t think he was so hot, maybe his wife was. Why are we talking about this?” I asked.

“It’s tough in the Third World. Most people sit around, hungry, go to bed, think about the French, and go to sleep. Like the Italians. I’ll bet LaGuardia thought about the French at night,” asserted Biden.

“Why, because Italy is Third World?” I asked.

“No,” said the Vice President, “because he was a midget,” as he walked around security, out the door, and boarded Air Force Two. He turned to me at the top of the stairs, blew me a kiss, and shouted, “Ciao!”