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Chris Christie’s Office Targets Former Ally in a Memo: Says ex ally, now enemy, is “hung up on the facts and deceiving the public.”

The NY Times keeps reporting on CC: Chris Christie’s Office Targets Former Ally in a Memo. Says ex friend David Wildstein is confused by the facts and wasn’t ever a friend.

Christie, who originally said he had “no knowledge” of the plot to tie up the Washington Bridge in traffic jams “until it was all over,” faces Wildstein’s claims that he has evidence that Christie knew much earlier.

Christie now admits he knew, “when it ended,” but not before. All he could do was fire the malafactors, which he did. Wildstein, one of those terminated, has now started a “gotcha” game.

Marquel was lucky to interview Christie on the way to the Super Bowl. “Governor,” he asked, “how is it you said you didn’t know till it was all over and now Mr Wildstein has produced emails showing you knew about the closure while it was going on?”

“He’s playing fast and loose with the facts, that’s how. I may have received an email that the bridge HAD been tied up. Is that knowing before or is it knowing after? I’d say after.”

“Well, said Marquel, “I’d say so too. But he claims he has an email showing you knew as soon as the traffic jams started. Now that’s not over, it’s at the beginning. Do you still assert that you didn’t know till it was all over?”

“Of course. I am not a liar. Just because I got an email earlier isn’t inconsistent with me knowing later is it? In fact,” said a sweating Christie who now evoked images of Richard Nixon, “it makes it a helluva lot more likely, right?”

“I guess so, that makes sense. But Wildstein insists he has emails showing you were in the chain of command actually telling Wildstein to shut the bridge,” insisted Marquel.

Nix

“You see that’s what I mean about him being confused by the facts. If he has that email it only means I knew it was being planned but I knew nothing, nothing, nothing about it until it was all over. That’s when I knew and that’s what I’ve been saying consistently for three weeks now,” said Christie, his eyes bugging out, sweat pouring down over a heavy five o’clockshadow, and he now had both hands in the air with his fingers in a V for victory sign, and sure enough he blurted out, “I am not a crook!”

“Of course not,” I agreed, making space between us in that back seat. “But the emails seem to show that you got this idea, planned it, ordered it’s execution, but then denied it all,” Urged Marquel.

“Now you’re doing the same thing. Those are just facts. But the most important fact you’ve just glossed over. Until it happened I knew nothing about it. And when it happened I finally knew all about it AFTER IT WAS OVER. Don’t you see I’m blameless?” He seemed frustrated and Marquel was afraid he might pull the Nixon thing again so he tried to change the subject.

“You’ve also said that you hardly knew Wildstein in high school but then why did you get him the job?” Asked Marquel.

“I’m a nice guy.”

“Yes but you were class president. Didn’t that make you more visible and get to know most or all of the class?” Asked Marquel.

“Nah, I didn’t know the guy,” Insisted Christie.

“But you were on the baseball team together. You had to know him.”

“You think I knew all the players? I probably knew his number, that’s how I knew them. Was he number 17? Yeah I always knew him as 17. I had no idea he was David Wildstein. Say hello to 17 for me will you, if you see him?” Asked Christie.

“Sure,” said Marquel, “let me just sum this up. You only knew when it was all over?”

“True.”

“But you knew when it was going on?”

“I was told it was going on. But it would be impossible to know about it till it was over and that’s when I knew.” Christie averred.

“But you helped plan it?”

“Of course I worked with my staff on it, but that was before it ever happened. I didn’t know it happened UNTIL IT WAS ALL OVER!” Yelled Christie.

“And it was all your idea and you gave the order.” Stated Marquel matter-of-factly.

“That’s a diversion. Until it was over I didn’t know it happened. The first I knew of it being all over, well, it was all over.”

Now Marquel was feeling a bit confused and flustered. “Didn’t know anything?”

“Nope. How about you?”

Marquel shrugged. “How would I have known….”

“Exactly. How would I have known. How would we have known?  Do you know?” Asked Christie.

“I don’t know.” Said Marquel.

“Me neither. I don’t know.”

We all knew the interview was over.

baron

Rumors exists that the Governor was playing host to a long time friend, the famous truth lover, the very Baron Munchausen. We can only imagine what will be coming out of New Jersey.

9 COMMENTS

  1. I’m a big man myself, and always wary about being photographed next to slimmer people …but your picture is fantastic. Christie looks like an insignificant Pinocchio next to Shaquille. Man, I never made that mistake.

  2. Just when I thought we didn’t have Richard Nixon to kick around any more! Nice Pothole 

  3. I’m crushed. First Sartre then Kant now Beckett. What’s next. I’m waiting for Godot.

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