A Crowdfunding Campaign Tries to Save Greece, read Marquel, TPVs NYTimes New Teapots Section correspondent. Marquel, despite being intergenerational, has almost no clue about crowd funding. He once wanted a new super espresso machine and tried to find it but it was too late. Good for Marquel because that project eventually went belly up. Apparently most do.
But the latest attempt is to save Greece. Funding a teapot is one thing. Ordinary people don’t seem to have a clue about international finance nor of the amounts involved. Crowdfunding Greece is a little like paying college tuition. It can’t be done. But it isn’t really meant to save Greece. The Crowder here is an English lad named Feeney who says he’s “bored” hearing about Greece and wants to “get it done,” off the pages, on to a new more interesting spectacle.
The aim is to raise €1.5 billion. Billion. The Crowders are celebrating their present level of €500,000. Marquel thinks it’s the zeroes that people don’t get. They only have to raise something close to a hundred thousand times that amount to make July’s payment. But that’s just one month. Next month is more than twice that. Greece’s entire debt is something like €300,000,000,000,000. That’s trillions. But there are practicalities also. If you give €10, you get a bottle of ourzo. The Times says that if you give a million you get the world’s gratitude, although that amount of course is just pennies also. Marquel gave that a thought and came up with Trump.
He spent last week saying that he is so rich, his wealth is limitless. Why not Crowdfunding? Marquel called him.
“Crowdfunding Greece? Why?” Asked the Donald.
“For the world’s gratitude,” Marquel explained. “You said last week that your wealth is limitless.”
“I also said that immigrants suck,” he said.
“But these are Greeks!” Marquel retorted.
“Greeks are immigrants too,” he said.
“But these are Greeks in Greece. They’re not immigrants.” Marquel said.
“Jesus what planet did you just come from? If they’re Greeks they’re immigrants. They run diners.” He said.
“I think you’re confusing immigrants with foreigners. If they’re still in their own country, they’re not immigrants.” Said Marquel.
“Don’t be stupid. I never met a Greek who wasn’t an immigrant. How else would he get here?” Said he.
“I think you get a bottle of ourzo too,” I said.
“How many?” He asked.
“As I understand it, as long as you give €10, you get one bottle.” I explained.
“Okay I’ll give 100,000 donations of €10. With a hundred thousand bottles, I can rebrand them and maybe make a killing.” He said.
“You better check on my facts,” I said, “I don’t want to owe you 99,999 bottles of ourzo.”
“I check everything. I’m putting the transfers through now. A hundred thousand of them.” He said.
“So you’ve done Crowdfunding before?” I asked him.
“Only once. There was this really neat espresso machine but the deal seems to have fallen through.” He said. “
Really? So you got nothing?” I asked, reminiscing about my own Crowdfunding experience.
“Nothing. Not even a bottle of ourzo.” He said.
Even though I had avoided a loss by simple tardiness I felt The Donald had vindicated my business savvy. Maybe I could use a bottle of ourzo.
🙂 🙂 🙂