Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Kiss The Girls And Make Them Cry Section correspondent, was reading an old love note from one of his college girlfriends, when he read “2 Nuns, a Developer and Katy Perry Walk Into a Real Estate Deal.” Marquel realized this was intentionally written to suggest the “duck walks into a bar” type of joke, but was lost by the reference.
In this version, Miss Perry, of “Let Me See Your Peacock” (and “Ur So Gay,” and “I Kissed A Girl”) fame, is battling five aged nuns, the last of a wonderful LA order called the Sisters Of The Immaculate Conception, for ownership of eight acres of prime LA real estate. The property is interesting because it borders on Griffith Park, where teens have always headed for evening make out sessions in the parking lot, and also on the property where the Manson Gang committed their second bloody session of unmotivated murders
Apparently Katy saw this property and, without kissing it, still liked it. The nuns however don’t want to sell it to her, preferring a local hotelier who will give them more in cash for themselves rather than the church. The hotelier has not asked to see anyone’s peacock, just a zoning change. The nuns insist that this is not a moral issue, especially after Perry spent an evening serenading them with gospel music, her original genre.
“So what if she kissed a girl and liked it?” Asked one nun, “who wouldn’t, especially if she were as hot as Katy?”
But Ms. Perry has become something of a bad girl of pop music, stressing Girl Power, pulling out peacocks for inspection to see if she approves of male “architecture.” The nuns claim also to be unoffended by peacock inspection, saying, “someone’s gotta have them and sometimes gotta see them. Just not us.”
So all seems well with Katy and the nuns, but who will get title is still undecided. In her fireworks video, Ms Perry has a young teen break up a parental fight, singing, “come and show them what you are.” Marquel asked Katy if this inspired her to enter a real estate dispute.
“My music had nothing to do with this.” She said.
“But don’t you want to show them what you are?” Asked Marquel.
“Everybody knows who I are, am,” she answered.
“Do you intend to punch the nuns out like you did that man in your “Wide Awake” video?” I asked.
“Of course not. This is a business deal.” She insisted.
“What are you going to do on eight acres almost in Griffith Park? It’s quite a make out center.” I asked. “Lots of Peacocks. Won’t that be embarrassing to the nuns?”
“I’m going to live there. I may redecorate. Maybe a few real peacocks,” she laughed.
“And when the duck leaves the bar?” I asked cryptically.
“I know that one. He says, ‘put it on my bill.’ “
I’d met the girl and I liked her.
***
By MARQUEL: Do You Want to See My Peacock
Excellent!
Perfect pitch!
ditto
ditto2
Amazing grace!
Well done!
Crazy funny!