Marquel TPVs NYTimes Secret Service Hijinks Section correspondent, was staring out the window thinking about newspapers he missed reading, when he skimmed .
The man, who was at an apartment near the White House when he lost control of the drone, went to bed before reporting the episode, according to law enforcement officials.
The man works for one of the many spy sub agencies in our government. This one is called the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency (NGIA). It is not certain but it appears, from his comments, that he spent a lot of time sending real drones into Yemen and Afghanistan. This man understand drones, Marquel thought.
Marquel asked him just that.
“Yes, it’s true, I understand drones.But that’s all I can say.” He said.
“Ever killed anybody with a drone?” Marquel asked.
“I certainly can’t answer that.” He answered.
“Okay,” Marquel said,” how can we get around that. You know that the US uses drones to kill people in Yemen and Afghanistan,” Marquel said.
“And Seattle,” he added.
“How do you know that?”
“Can’t say.” He said.
But you do work for the NGIA, and they are in charge of drones in Yemen aren’t they?”
“If you say so,” he said.
“That’s not good enough. Their facility for drones is in Virginia City. Have you lived in Virginia City?” Marquel asked.
“Yes, for six years.” he said.
“Fine, that happens to be when the drone program started so let’s just say we believe you controlled them, and obviously killed with them, and you haven’t told me that nor confirmed it, right?” I inquired. He just smiled.
“So what’s this about getting drunk and flying drones. Isn’t that dangerous?”
“It probably is, but flying drones is dangerous,” he said
“Why?” I asked.
“First of all they explode. Secondly most of the people flying them are drunk.” He said.
“That’s kind of circular but I think I understand. Do most drone operators drink and drone?” I asked.
“First of all they drink before they go to work. Then they drink while they work. Then when they’re done and think about it, they drink some more. That’s something pilots in the old days couldn’t do. They’d crash, but we can sleep.” He said.
“So you were drunk because that’s what drone operators do.” I suggested.
“Sure.”
“And speaking of sleeping, didn’t you go to sleep after the accident?” I asked.
“That’s something the papers got wrong. I didn’t know there was an accident. I fell asleep while using the drone. When I woke up there were the controls, but no drone. There’s only one thing that could have happened. It landed or crashed somewhere. I’m right across from the White House so that came to mind.” He said.
“It would have come to my mind too,” I said. “But drinking is one thing, falling asleep while droning is another. Isn’t that dangerous?” I asked.
“I already told you drones are inherently dangerous. They explode. People flying them get drunk. Sometimes they fall asleep before the mission ends.” He said.
“Did that ever happen at work? Without telling me what you did, did you fall asleep in the middle of whatever it was?” I asked.
“Oh sure. With ten operators sitting together linked by satellites halfway around the globe, it was impossible not to drink and sometimes fall asleep. I saw all ten of us slumped over in more than one night. Those nights were called zeros cause that’s how much we got done.” He said.
“Didn’t the higher ups get upset?” I asked.
“Actually never. They said it introduced a lot of speculation and unpredictability into the missions. The bad guys saw bombs exploding all over, in used car lots, open roads, uninhabited deserts, preschools, and thought we didn’t know what we were doing. The next night, if we stayed awake, boom! Right on their heads. Very effective.” He said.
“So you were just flying this model drone the other night, flying it all over, having fun, getting drunker and drunker until you feel asleep and the drone was left on its own, apparently to land on the White House lawn.” I said.
“That’s what happened, sure enough.” He said.
“And what’s going to happen to you now?” I asked.
“I had to apologize. No big thing.”
“Well I’m glad for you. But I doubt the future is drones.”
“Neither do I” he said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Too expensive'” he said.
“The drones?” I asked.
“No, the liquor.”
amazing story
loved it
So delightful the ending! too expensive …the liquor
perfect pitch
ditto
ditto2
so strange and so funny.
you mean to say – so many idiots?
yeah: this is what the Times reported:
Marquel, made his stupidity look less crass