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The Perks Of Being God

honey I flushed the mankind

For just a moment, restrain yourself from delving into the Noah issue, and do not even touch the Noah movie debates. Keep it conceptual. Let’s just hold the Noah theme, and move it to a whole other level, a much higher level. Yeah, that’s right. Forget the Noah guy, Crowe, Arronosfky, and so on. And just ask yourself this: What if YOU were God almighty? Omnipresent, omniscient, and so on. Better than being Noah, right? Even better than being Crowe. You! God! Imagine the possibilities!

And here is the best one: having the power to erase the past mistakes (being able to acknowledge them is implied) and start anew. Gosh, this could produce material for a Hollywood movie, no matter who you are. Right?

Myself, I see two possible developments following the decision to flush the past (and the entire world with it).

First, it is good to make a clean slate. I mean, flush them away all, damn it, I am God, so I can make more of it anytime if I really miss anything or anybody.

Second, the better judgment moment comes to mind. Hold the flood for a minute, baby. Think before you act. Has it all been really so bad? Is humanity such a pest? And if so, maybe it is a good idea to let one specimen live, just to witness the horrors I’m capable of when I feel I just had it. It feels good to let the future generations know that, after all, there is only One who’s in control of the big valve and that One is Me, don’t you think so?

Hm. Tricky this one. Tempting, yes.  But tricky. What if the guy I choose to spare turns out to be the evil seed to another global mess? I can’t do the same mistake twice, right? I mean, sure I can. I can do everything I like (note to myself: remember to self-like this article). But even God shouldn’t flush the past so often. Imagine the consequences. New Bibles? Yeah, for sure. How about the old Bible? The Old Testament. The New Testament. And now, The Latest Testament? Neah. Can’t make the Bible look like a tabloid. They’ll stop studying it. They’ll just check the updates. Not good.

So better choose a valid survivor, and choose well. A good family man, maybe. Must love nature. Check. Must love the sea. Check. A strong man. Check. Capable to defend his own and to kill others, if necessary. Check. But peaceful in his heart. Maybe. Also, must be an established Hollywood star.

Hey, wait a minute. This is not a movie. It is serious stuff. Note to myself: keep the end of mankind theme artsy and sophisticated or it will be just another disaster movie. I mean, I’m God, people expect some sort of significance coming out from my work. Jesus, that’s tough.

Did I just say Jesus? Hey, that’s even a better idea! What if I just flush down the toilette all this doomsday crap and concentrate on the Jesus theme? Revival. Hope. Positive stuff. God, I feel inspired today!

Note to myself: it’s good to be the God. TPV

SOUR GRAPES

The Perks Of Being God

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