Home By Marquel Just a Sideways Glance

Just a Sideways Glance

tumblr_lsmig8GHjf1r4nlgao1_500

Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Full frontal and Everywhere Else Nudity correspondent was leaving the Turkish Baths on 10th street in a very satisfied mood, when he read Realizing the American Apparel Chief Isn’t Wearing Any ClothesDov Charney’s dismissal raises all sorts of thorny corporate-governance questions for investors and boards about iconic — and notorious — leaders, especially in creative fields.

When you go by an American Apparel store you know what will happen. First, if there are children with you, you’ll hear, “lookit that!” If there are seniors they will suddenly point in the other direction and say, “look at that plumbing supply store, have we ever shopped there?”

You, on the other hand, will have your eyes glued to Dov Charney’s window display of fantastically beautiful and sexual models of all three genders (Marquel assumes). That’s why it’s there.

Over the years Dov  Charney has been accused off all sorts of sexual misconduct with employees. It is hard to judge these mere accusations because he spends a lot of his time at the office dancing in the nude while his employees film him while urging him on to better moves. Maybe they are abusing him?

None of this was unknown to anybody including the company board and anyone who ever read a newspaper or even an internet aggregator (where we’re proud to say you sometimes find ThePotholeView too). But four years ago the company started to lose money (Marquel figures that’s because all breasts become less pert over time and the seniors seem to be winning the plumbing supply store battles.).

That’s when the board became interested in Dov’s nudity. They’ve tried to fire him. It’ll be quite a fight. But Marquel doesn’t understand what they’re going to fight about. They all knew his nudity, his flirtations, his mammoth billboards (there was one on the north side of Houston near Lafayette that was guaranteed to get you frisky when on a date).

Doesn’t that count as some sort of waiver, or as they sometimes call it in law, laches? It’s good when it’s profitable but not when it’s unprofitable? Can there be such a law?

One of these employees actually complained that at her first meeting, Dov was dressed in a towel wrapped around his waist. That was infamously known as formalwear at American Apparel. Or perhaps it was a dress down Friday. But still….

I went to one of these complainants and asked her about working conditions.

We sat down, she offered me a martini or anything. I had some anything with bubbles.

So,” I began, “I understand that you were traumatized at American Apparel. What I’m interested is why?”

” It was like a zoo there. Everybody ogling the girls. We felt like we were on display. That’s illegal.”
“I understand. But what I don’t understand is why you took the job in the first place. Did you know what they sold and how they sold it?”
“Oh did I,” she said, “it was disgusting. On billboards. You could see their hootchas right through the clothes.”
“You mean vaginas?” I asked.
“Yes, and the men.”
“Their vaginas too?” I wondered.
“No, of course not,”, she answered, giggling. “You could see their whatchas right through their pants….”
“Their penises?” I asked.
“Oh, yes,” she said.
“And their you-know-what’s, also?” I asked. “Those, too?” I asked.
She shook her head.
“Are you sure you could see their balls, testicles, on the billboard?” I questioned.
“Well,” she said, and paused. “You could easily imagine them.”
“Well, not me,” I remarked, “I think it’s more of a girl thing. It’s not a man thing.”
She pondered. “Maybe not. But it, or they, were clearly visible. And I’ll tell you they ended up showing the hair on women and men models.”
“You mean pubic hair?” I asked.
“Yes and what you couldn’t see, you could easily imagine.”
“Wow, that’s pretty rare these days. So,” I continued, “with all these hootchas and whatchas and you-know-what’s, why did you want to work there?”
“I can’t imagine in retrospect, but I guess I was curious. This sounds to me like a blame-the-female interview.” She asserted.
“Well, it’s not,” I said, “It’s more like a discovery interview.”
“What do you mean? Discovery?” She asked
“Well,” I said, “despite my apparent sophistication and age, I’m as confused now as I was at sixteen by women. We think differently and act differently and I’m not sure we will ever solve it.”
“That sounds sexist to me,” she said.
“Well if it is, it’s not out of animus. It’s just sheer confusion and intellectual limitations. Not reflecting on your legal rights to which this might well be irrelevant, it just baffles me why you walked into that place to work there five full days a week.”
“I had the right,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.
“For sure,” I agreed. “But I’m still puzzled.” “For instance,” I said, “I’ve learned that women don’t like men looking at their breasts. You called it ogling.”
“Yeah,” she said, suddenly sounding like a young teenager, not a woman in her prime.
“For instance, that t shirt you’re wearing couldn’t be smaller and the words right you-know-where, say “what happens in this shirt stays in this shirt.”
“Yeah,” she said, with resignation.
“How can I read that without looking at your chest, ogling you?”
“How about just a sideways glance?” She asked.
A sideways glance. Somehow I thought there was more wisdom there than either she or I imagined. Even though as imaginations go, hers took the cake. We said good by, including delicious European cheek kisses. I knew then I would always like females and a sideways glance should suffice.
***
BY MARQUEL:

9 COMMENTS

  1. very controversial topic, Marquel, but that’s your middle name, isn’t it? Bravo. Excellent!

  2. the graphics are excellent. They help the reader immensely. Though, to put the girls on the spot . That’s never been done. It’s their right to discover what appalling at their own little speed. Oh. and the standard for appalling and disgusting is also something that depends on so many circumstances….You’re by far the most interesting writer out there…Love you,

  3. I am disturbed by your observations and I know they are all fabricated. But I have to agree that if you go to a place called inferno you may not know that it means hell and you should be excused if you enter it. The risk should not be yours. But if you open the door of a place called inferno and you see red devils and people burning on top of huge bonfires, and you still enter it, then it is at your risk. Even if you don’t know what inferno means.

    Despite my desires to keep it cool, I have to say you are an excellent writer and you know how to choose your topics. BTW I skip the Times now but not TPV. Thank you, Marquel.

  4. loved this:

    (Marquel figures that’s because all breasts become less pert over time and the seniors seem to be winning the plumbing supply store battles.).

  5. Nice one.

    Liked: Or perhaps it was a dress down Friday.

    Note to your webmaster – is there any way to freeze the images on the home page? You have such interesting and informative graphics … like now…those hands… But, when one is studying them to see how they compliment and inform the article, or just your life… they’re cruelly jerked away. Oops…Sideways.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.