Home Economics Just the Fats, Ma’am. The Marketing of Type II Diabetes

Just the Fats, Ma’am. The Marketing of Type II Diabetes

Just the Fats, Ms. Deen
Just the Fats, Ms. Deen

 “It’s the good advice, that you just didn’t take…Isn’t it ironic?” As has been pointed out too often by now, Alanis Morisette had some trouble understanding the meaning of irony (which didn’t stop her from  writing a song about the subject, quoted above—never allow ignorance to stand in your way, after all). However, very southern American cooking star (I’m taking the Internet’s word for this one, as I don’t really know who she is) Paula Deen seems to have offered an excellent object lesson in irony, or perhaps just capitalism, by giving herself the very disease that she now markets a cure for.

 Aside from creating her own rather impressive gravitational field, Paula Deen is a well-known television personality who apparently has her own show and appears on other food related television shows (I am indirectly, and unwillingly, exposed to some of these shows thanks to my wife’s fascination with the Food Network and similar channels—I don’t recall seeing the eminent Mrs. Deen, however). She is most well known for frying things, buttering them, adding lard, and basically creating prototypically unhealthy southern American foodstuffs.

 Now I’m actually the last guy who would normally be against such activities—if something is fried, I’m probably interested in eating it. If I have a burger, it better have some cheese and a few strips of bacon on it. Is there something that shouldn’t be served with a side of fries? I don’t think so.

 Yet even I was taken aback by the caloric heft of Paula’s culinary doings. Most (in)famously, Deen advocates a bacon cheeseburger (delicious!) with an egg (getting less delicious), and two Krispy Kreme doughnuts serving as buns (starting to get sort of gross). There is also her fried chicken, with Crisco shortening for frying, and a baked French Toast casserole, with two cups of half-and-half and a half-pound of butter.

Butter is sold by the pound? Maybe that’s a southern thing.

So Mrs. Deen has seemingly given herself type II diabetes by eating this stuff, getting fat, and being inactive, and is now cashing in by shilling for Novo Nordisk, who make the medication she needs to stay alive (Victoza). She’s gotten slammed for this—most famously by Anthony Bourdain (via that most idiotic of communication channels, Twitter), who said (fine, I’ll use the stupid word: Tweeted) that he was going to break his own legs in order to sell crutches.

But maybe we should look to Deen for inspiration—even Bourdain could. After all, they’re both in the business of promoting products (themselves, primarily), and following the ‘there’s no such thing as bad publicity’ dictum, Paula Deen is doing a great job. So she might lose a few fingers or part her leg in the process—we all pay a price for doing work that we love.

Isn’t it ironic? I’m not sure, but it’s a hell of a business plan. Long live Paula—and if that medication she’s hawking works, live long she will. Bon appetit, y’all.

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