Misogyny Is The Answer: You Better Not Be Asking a Question, Woman

For years there has a been a strain of conventional wisdom that says the U.S. should take the lead of other countries and change its policies—socialized medicine, gun control, environmental regulations, and the death penalty, among others, have all been areas in which some have claimed the U.S. has lagged. So let’s start catching up to the world—or at least Israel—by placing women where they belong: behind curtains, off the stage, and solidly garbed in several layers of ankle and wrist length clothing. Wigs might be a good idea, too.

During the past year there have been incidents in Israel involving women and orthodox Jews, in which women have begun acting irrationally. At times they have even insisted on riding on public transportation in the same manner that their betters (by betters I mean men) ride. And when women have been honored at government functions they have been barred from appearing on stage, in order to avoid offending pious Jews. Such incidents have led, according to a recent Boston Globe article (http://www.bostonglobe.com/news/world/2012/01/15/battle-rages-israel-between-ultra-orthodox-and-secular/dZIdRnP5Fw40Votj0mnkYK/story.html) to national consternation over the role and place of women in Israeli society.

But the U.S. might do well to adopt some of the ideas put forth by Israel’s orthodox Jews. For one thing, the whole ‘women aren’t allowed to speak in public’ idea would have saved us from both Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann (perhaps Donald Trump, Rick Perry, and Ron Paul could be designated honorary women in order to save us from them as well—an idea both Republicans and Democrats could support). Solving the Palin/Bachmann problem—I’ve already won you over, right? But there’s more.

We know that American manufacturing has taken a big hit during recent decades, and America used to be a world leader in textiles. What happened? If you look at women’s clothing these days, the answer is obvious. Popular women’s fashions today require far less material than in previous years, and less material means less demand. If we mandate a certain level of modesty for women, along with several layers of undergarments, the U.S. textile industry could grow to meet the new demand and immediately regain its place as a leading manufacturer.

Now there has been some ugliness associated with the Israeli movement. From the Globe article: “Ultra-Orthodox men spit on an 8-year-old girl whom they deemed immodestly dressed.” I can’t specifically countenance this act, but as a parent of a recent 8-year-old girl, I also can’t discount the possibility that she had it coming to her (not because of her dress, necessarily, but because of acting like an 8-year-old girl; they are very difficult sometimes). And the article also refers to posters featuring the Jerusalem police chief being depicted as Hitler due to his order to have mixed gender busses travel through orthodox neighborhoods. I’m not sure about the bus routes, but public officials being portrayed as Hitler is nearly always hilarious, so perhaps by following the Israeli lead we’d get some humorous drawings, too.