By Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Chink In The Armor Section correspondent.
U.S. Drops Charges That Professor Shared Technology With China, Marquel read once, twice and the third time stopped.
All charges against the Temple University professor were dropped after it became apparent the Justice Department had misinterpreted a key piece of evidence.
Prosecutors charged the scientist with transmitting the plan for a semiconductor warming device, classified information. But experts, including the inventor of the device, finally convinced prosecutors, never the warmest in a pile of semiconductors, on the eve of trial, that the plans were not of the device but of an ordinary household vacuum cleaner.
“They never even asked anybody,” said the incensed inventor. “They’re under pressure to arrest as many Chinese spies as possible. They just had to dismiss two other cases in Ohio for false allegations.”
Marquel discovered he was right. FBI agents have fanned out across the country arresting all the Chinese workers they can find. Usually it doesn’t involve classified information but trade secrets in factories where Chinese immigrants, many of them already U.S. citizens, like the inventor, find work.
Marquel talked to the FBI and was told it was a “serious problem. The Chinese are determined to surpass us economically by outright theft.”
He gave several recent examples among which the most shocking was that prosecutors have also charged Chinese workers in the United States with stealing … the pigment used to whiten Oreo cookie cream. Marquel had already read about that in the Times article but he still found it extraordinary.
“The white pigment?” I asked.
“Yes, apparently it’s fabulous. Ever get an Oreo, even an old Oreo, with a faded white center?” He said.
“Well I can’t remember that happening.” I said, salivating at the thought of some nice crunchy black and absolutely white Oreos with milk. I wondered if the Chinese would discover the secret of separating the cookie and scraping off the whiter-than-white cream with their front teeth before proceeding to the rest of the cookie. Or would they have to steal that, too? It seemed to Marquel that it was kind of instinctive.
“Well that in itself is worth literally billions. And we suspect it doesn’t end there.” He said.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“This is a white pigment that is completely benign. No health effects because it’s designed to be actually consumed internally and safely by the consumer.” He said, carefully articulating each syllable.
I shook my head but really didn’t understand. I muttered a sloppy, “huh?”
He looked at me, peered around the room, stared at a portrait of J. Edgar Hoover, purposely building the suspense and finally pointed a huge finger from an immense fist at me, saying, “What if they decided to use this on their bodies?” He suggested.
“Okay, and someone would scrape it off with their teeth? Sort of like a new dim sum?” I asked, fascinated by Chinese ways.
“No, no no no no. They keep it on. They pass as whites. What an espionage blockbuster.”
He said. I marvelled at his stupidity but just like prosecutors, FBI agents are not known for being the crunchiest Oreo in the bag.
I went home, hungry for both Oreos and dim sum but knew it would never happen. Kind of sad. It might have sold.
Indeed the FBI are not the crunchiest Oreo in the bag
Loved it
Funny
Of course it is funny. It is Marquel
Such a sad story: going after immigrants as scapegoats
Excellent