A new analysis, taking into account student demographics, finds the states in third and fourth place, after Massachusetts and New Jersey. There’s a trick to it though the readers in Texas and Florida can’t read all that well. Only three or four words, actually. But the new study measures where they’re coming from, not how they’re reading now, and judges it amazing that these kids even know how to open the books. That’s how we’re going to beat Europe and China.
Marquel went to both Florida and Texas to see how this miracle was performed. At a Texas High School, a senior named Lonnie opened a small primer with the help of a guidance counselor. He read aloud,
“Here Puff! Here Spot!” They all clapped.
So did Marquel, since everyone else did.
The guidance counselor said, “Do you realize that last year he couldn’t read ONE single word? Is that amazing?”
“Certainly. And he’s not the only one!” Said the counselor.
Lonnie stared awhile and said, “D…d…d…d…di…di…dip…dipwad?”
The counselor interrupted, “he’s going to community college now that he can read!”
“Because we’ve found it’s more meaningful to measure relative progress than absolute. It is a better indicator of progress.” Said the counselor.
“But his progress is amazing. It shows we’re good teachers.” He said.
He traveled to Florida. They brought out a Lonnie with a tan. He read about Puff and Spot.
“Do you know what?” Asked the principal.
“How’d you know?” He asked.
“But he just told you of Puff and Spot.” Protested the principal.
“Not this strapping kindergarten student,” said the principal, pawing the student.
“No that’s unamerican. He just has to show improvement.”
“Practically speaking, he’ll take remedial classes.” He said.
“I thinks that’s unnecessarily harsh. Nothing breeds success like success. This boy is a success,” he said, pawing the student once more.
“Also successes because of the tremendous progress. That puts us right behind Massachusetts.” He said.
“Unimportant. Progress is what matters. Nothing breeds success like success.” He said.
So clever.
loved it from beginning till the very end
ditto
ditto2
where’s pitch perfect?
here: so funny and so literate