Bernie Sanders Announces He Is Running for President, read aloud Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Who? Section correspondent, and Gail Collins responded by writing a tepid op-ed piece in the Saturday Times.
Bernie who? Marquel had an uncle Bernie. He called him.
“Uncle Bernie, are you running for president?” Marquel asked.
“Of course not, Marquie, why would I do that?” He asked.
“Marquie, you know our whole family is communists. We couldn’t win a lottery, let alone an election.” He said.
“That’s quite impossible.” Uncle Bernie said.
“Yes indeed but not every one knows that. This is still impossible. Have your ears cleaned out. Say hello to your parents.”
“Yes Bernie’s with us. What do you want?” they asked.
“Why don’t you ask him?” They asked.
“Hmmm. Interesting. Well I can tell you what we stand for.” He offered.
“Tax the rich. Use it for better schools only in underserved areas to equal things out. Halve the military or ideally liquidate it. Use the money to build a brand new America. Restrict executive income to thirty times the lowest paid employee. Gay marriage any marriage. All people are absolutely equal. No money in politics. At all. modest federal subsidies of candidacies.”
“I really couldn’t tell you. Clearly somebody has his wings confused.” He said.
“Honestly I really don’t know. We don’t talk like that. It sounds like a different world. If you don’t subscribe to what I just said, you’re not left, you’re right.” He said.
“Yes I do. It’s a long shot but not impossible. The people want everything I just listed. Corporate America doesn’t. Seems ike an easy choice to me.” He said.
“No.” He insisted.
“I want a real leftist. One who knows how power is really used.” He said.
“All power and the only power comes from the muzzle of a gun.” He asserted.
“Anybody promise you life wouldn’t be scary?” He asked.
“Don’t be afraid. We’ll all be in it together.” He assured me.