Home Dana Neacsu TheWeekholeView: All Hillary’s Pantsuits Fit Her Fans

TheWeekholeView: All Hillary’s Pantsuits Fit Her Fans

Here each week starts every seventh day, but lately, not on the same seventh day. Luckily, Hillary announced her readiness to rule the world and TPV took notice. Here’s what fell through the hole in the last week or so:

On Thursday, April 9, Hillary met with her trusted NSA advisors who swore on their equally encrypted accounts that no one ever would be able to decipher what she says so no one could ever hold her accountable for any promise she makes as long as she uses the device they put together for her.

On Friday, April 10, Hillary tried on various pantsuits and made sure none were made in sweatshops abroad, because our women need jobs too.

On Saturday, April 11, Hillary declared

“God, I’m Hillary, bitch!”

0413-drake-madonna-kissing-getty-4and then she gave Bill a full mouth wet kiss which made the poor guy almost have another bypass surgery. Luckily this did not happen at Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival, but in CNN’s studios.  Madonna heard about the incident, and did the same thing the next day. Madonna’s victim was Drake.

On Sunday, April 12, Hillary went to Iowa and ate a small burger and put on a different pair of pants. She promised to wear a different suit every day of her campaign and pajamas during her presidency.

On Monday, April 13, Hillary, still happy with her meds, declared her candidacy for the 2016 Presidential Elections urging every faction of the Democratic party to accept her or die.

On Tuesday, April 14, Hillary asked Paul Krugman to write something nice about her, which he did:

“2016 will be about ideologies, not individuals.”

That was his way to give Hillary a hint that she should embrace some other idea than

“I’m Hillary bitch! And you’ll vote for me!”

On Wednesday, April 15, 2015, The New York Times kept its promise to nauseate its readers with news about old people having sex so that no one would ever dream about Hillary’s sex life. The first installment was about this 78 year old woman whose husband kept abusing her with sexual encounters despite her inability to ask for it.

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By DANA NEACSU: TheWeekholeView: All Hillary’s Pantsuits Fit Her Fans

5 COMMENTS

  1. I liked the (non-H) opening:

    “Here each week starts every seventh day, but lately, not on the same seventh day.”

  2. I would like Madge to change the lyrics of her latest hit “Living for Love” to “Living for Hillary.” Maybe you can ghostwrite 🙂

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