Home Dana Neacsu TheWeekholeView: What ‘crapocalypse’ Film Festivals Are!

TheWeekholeView: What ‘crapocalypse’ Film Festivals Are!

Here, each hole starts on Wednesdays and this is what fell through this past week, in more than one way or day:

On Wednesday, May 14, the 2014 Cannes Festival opened to huge foreign acclaim, despite the two-hour boycott by the royal family of Monaco and the French comedian, Gad Elmaleh. The reason for this boycott which did not deprive the casinos of any tourists was the casting of Nicole Kidman as the late Grace Kelly. Apparently, the wife of Grace’s only son, Albert, Charlene of South Africa, showed interest in playing a mute version of the late Princess Grace.

On Thursday, May 15, Mike Leigh’s movie. Mr. Turner, was shown and we could all see that ugly older actors may still find work in England.

Friday, May 16, How to Train Your Dragon II received a warm welcome from the audience relieved they do not have to fawn upon any humanoid actor or actors, only cartoons.

On Saturday, May 17, more movies were presented at Cannes. While in the United States. Mitch McConnell was being pushed around by his second wife, Elaine Chao, to continue campaigning for the GOP primaries.

On Sunday, May 18, also in the United States, Elaine Chao, wife of Mitch McConnell, was being photographed in the kitchen, opening a window. Rumors spread soon that it was not her family’s kitchen.

"Voce Umana" Premiere - The 67th Annual Cannes Film FestivalOn Monday, May 19, the world outside Cannes was able to google Sophia Loren’s 79-year old breasts, but refused.

On Tuesday, May 20, 2014, Ryan Gosling’s directorial debut Lost River was panned by Cannes critics as ‘crapocalypse’ further explaining:

Thank God he did something we could discredit! For much too long a period this Canadian dude was allowed to take our US-made boys’ jobs. Back to Toronto, Ryan. Hollywood is full of made-in-the-USA pretty boys.

Also on Tuesday, Elaine Chao reached happiness … for two seconds, and TPV heard “Ah, ouch, Mitch!”

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DANA NEACSU TheWeekholeView: What ‘crapocalypse’ Film Festivals Are!

3 COMMENTS

  1. Another instance where ignorance may mean I’m a better person? I’m not sure I got it, or even if I should, but I liked:

    Elaine Chao reached happiness … for two seconds, and TPV heard “Ah, ouch, Mitch!

  2. Thanks for putting the idea of Googling with the idea of Breasts, for me (can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself…)

  3. Well said DR bro:
    Brought this to mind:

    They come in pairs, so you can share.

    A dizzying mix of metaphor, or something like that.

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