Home Dana Neacsu TheWeekholeView: Despite Opposite Western Wishes, All Is Quiet on the Eastern Front

TheWeekholeView: Despite Opposite Western Wishes, All Is Quiet on the Eastern Front

Here, each hole starts on Wednesdays and this is what fell through this past week, in more than one way or day:

On Wednesday, February 12, the US hockey team won against Russia, and in order to avoid a new cold war, Obama returned Alaska to Putin. Gracious as ever, Putin allowed us to hold onto Sarah Palin and her window.

Thursday, February 13, was a memorable day for the US. It marked the first time Olympic medals were awarded in men’s ski slopestyle and the U.S. won gold in both the men’s nad women’s snowboarding slopestyle events, proving that the desire to kill yourself on snowboard is a free world invention.

Friday, February 14, the US economy bounced back to pre-2008 levels for half a day, as men spent about $50 on presents, and women spent about half that price on repackaging those very presents and sending them away by FedEx to family and friends.

On Saturday, February 15, a 68-year old funeral director from Champaign, Ill, dressed in WWII military fatigue, boarded a decades-old propeller plane, reached 1,500 feet above Oklahoma cotton fields, closed his eyes, and jumped from the plane using a parachute based on an old-fashioned design that can drop a man on the ground with the same force as a fall from a second floor window. TPV is investigating the cause for this behavior: the man’s geographical location, his stressful job, or just the rumors that the US will start drafting all loonies, irrespective of age or physical condition.

cookOn Sunday, February 16, Peter Greenaway was awarded the outstanding contribution award at the Baftas, for a body of work that includes 8½ Women, The Draughtsman’s Contract, and one of TPV’s favorite movies, The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover.

suitsOn Monday, February 17, fashion conquered the psyche of our speed skating team and doomed its chances to win some Russian medals: once doubts about the color scheme were planted in the team’s mind, they stopped focusing on the race and started mending their suits, the Wall Street Journal reported.

On Tuesday, February 18, 2014, an Ethiopian Airlines pilot hijacked himself and landed forcefully in Geneva rather than in Rome and immediately asked the Swiss for political asylum. Obviously, the poor man had not been aware of the new Swiss anti-immigration law which limits immigration to Eastern Europeans who can afford the Swiss boarding schools for their offspring.


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