TheWeekholeView: Trump Broke ISIS Apart

TheWeekholeView: Trump Broke ISIS Apart

With the Islamic State (or ISIS) facing setbacks in Iraq and Syria, most observers believe that the group is inexplicably crumbling. Iraqi Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi has declared eastern Mosul “fully liberated” from the group.

Evidently, it is the U.S.-led coalition tasked with countering ISIS who did it, as it is evident Trump concerted that effort.

Hurrah, let’s see how Trump, as inexperienced in running a state as ISIS is did it:

Sunday, January 29, Trump announced his Supreme Court nominee, a man so educated he had read the Bible of every religion out there both as an undergraduate at Columbia and a law school student at Harvard. That reading hadn’t shaken off his beliefs that Jesus’ teachings were still the best suited for the supreme court of the land, which is the Planet’s. ISIS got scared and mistook arms for necks. And broke them off and then ground them into nothingness. Hard to feel sorry.

Monday, January 30, Trump practiced his little fat fingers with two tweet-threats at Iran. ISIS took further notice and impregnated some virgins lying around.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017, Trump hang up on Australia’s prime minister after railing at him over an Obama administration deal to take in 1,250 of its refugees. Spicer explained.

Bannon hang up the telephone when Trump started mouthing ‘You’re fired.’ Bannon and Ivanka are having a tough time explaining the old man this is not Fox TV, but a different reality TV show.

Wednesday, February 1, the Associated Press reported that Trump threatened to send the U.S. military to Mexico if the country couldn’t control its crime problems.

“You have some bad hombres there, my young impotent friend,” Trump addressed the Mexican president. “Either you take my Viagra or my military. It’s your choice or you’re fired,” Trump was heard saying while Bannon forced ISIS to listen on a private line.

ISIS was bleeding from its every orifice by the end of the conversation.

Thursday, February 2, when Eric and Donald Jr announced that two Trump Towers were going to be erected in both Iraq and Syria in 2016 alone, several high-ranking ISIS leaders committed suicide while others declared bankruptcy. As a result, the group’s finances took a serious hit, and it was hemorrhaging all over its territory.

Friday, February 3, Bannon and Price announced that over the next few years, with God’s help and Trump’s leadership, ISIS was sure to break apart further.

“If need be,” they giggled.

Saturday, February 4, 2017, according to CNN, Trump was “feeling some fatigue” after a long week of alternative Twitter, as the old man referred to phone calls with world leaders, and he was going to nap.

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By DANA NEACSU: TheWeekholeView: Trump Broke ISIS Apart