Nelson Mandela’s rain-swept memorial service drew tens of thousands of South Africans and a large crowd of global V.I.P.’s, including President Obama and more than 90 other heads of state and government. Random security testing of the crowd showed that all of the tens of thousands had the same DNA profile, that of Mandela himself.
This probably contributed to the weekend rumors that Mandela was still alive or had risen from the dead.The American president eulogized.
“To the people of South Africa — people of every race and every walk of life — the world thanks you for sharing Nelson Mandela with us, just as you shared so much of yourselves with him.” President Obama said, adding with a wink, “I should be so lucky.”
The crowd roared.
“You see,” said Mugabe Kenyatta, a TV :analyst for South African news, “he really was the father of our country.”
While Secret Service agents debated whether it was safe to stay in a country where everyone has the same DNA profile, the crowds remained peaceful.
“That’s not surprising,” noted Kenyatta, “you see. We are all related. One big happy family for all those under thirty at least. He impregnated everybody.” Stammering, he added, “It was Mandela’s secret weapon, you might say.
For more in depth New York Times coverage turn to, http://nyti.ms/1aQJQef.
Exactly! That kind of thing wouldn’t happen in Colorado, nip it in the bud!