http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLo7tHDHgOc
Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Beheading Prices Section correspondent was writing a thank-you-but-no note, when he read G.O.P. Error Reveals Donors and the Price of Access. An unintended disclosure of documents from the Republican Governors Association opens a window onto corporate donors and the size of their checks. Most of the donors paid $100,000 to $200,000 apiece for various privileges or “perks” as the Republican documents show. Marquel thought it read like a Chinese menu, and was amazed at the tastes, or tastelessness, of Republican millionaires. He made an appointment with the Republican committee and showed up at the right time.
“Come right in,” said the Republican, wearing rusty red chinos with blue whales embroidered on them, a striped shirt with a blue tie with rusty red whales on it, and, of course, a blue blazer. Smiling so broadly it ended somewhere in back of his ears, an anatomical spot that doesn’t even exist in Democrats, he said, “how can I help you?”
“I was wondering about this secret program where donors get perks according to how much they pay”, I said.
“You don’t find anything wrong with that, do you? You get what you pay for. Free enterprise.” He said.
“Of course not. You pay more, you get more. That’s fair. I was more interested in what they get.” I said.
His eyes seemed to bubble with sheer joy and excitement. He reminded me of a six year old the night before Christmas.
“It’s like a potpourri,” he gushed. You can sleep at John Boehner’s house. Have breakfast, coffee, huevos rancheros. For a little more, you can spend the weekend with the Koch brothers.”
“Wow, I wonder what a weekend would be like with them.” I said.
“Oh you wouldn’t believe it. Maid service, butler service, your own 57 Ferrari. And you won’t believe the best!” His body was shaking so forcefully, I’d say it was vibrating.
“Tell me, tell me,” I urged.
“You get to sit down with both brothers and pick a democratic enemy, and give two million to his opponent to crush him. God wouldn’t you love it?” He asked.
“I love democracy,” I said noncommittally. “That’s got to be the best.”
“In some ways, yes, to others, no.” He said. “Another perk is to sit with the House Finance Committee. You get to choose the debt limit for the year.”
“You’re kidding!” I said.
“Not at all. Those who feel really strongly about right to life, and don’t we all,” he said, “get to be at the head of a march around an abortion facility with a loudspeaker that’s high tech and incredibly loud. You can scream what you want but we provide a script you can scream at the clients. It’s unbelievably loud, right in the ear drum and calls them whores and skanks. It’s extremely popular. But it’s only $100,000”
“Wouldn’t you love to do that,” I asked metaphorically. “But what’s at the top of the $200,000 level besides the Koch brothers?”
“Interesting you should ask. For those who throw in just a little more, you get free admission to the Texas death chamber. You see three executions and at one of them you get to pull the switch.” He said with relish, jumping up and down a bit and rubbing his hands. “The last guy, a solid Republican from Tennessee, kept making false moves just to scare and tease the prisoner. Then he pulled it down really really slowly. He said later it was the high point of his life.”
“Well you can’t top that,” I said. “Many have dreamed of it but few have reached the summit. Killing a murderer
and teasing him on the way. That’s what I call real Republicanism. Lincoln would embrace you.”
“I know. I know. I know,” he said. He sidled up to me shaking with excitement I was afraid he’d vomit on me. He whispered. “We have another. It’s secret. Mums the word.”
I zippered my mouth with my finger.
He continued to whisper.
“We’ve made contact with some Middle Eastern groups. It’s very hush hush. Had to get the CIA in on it. Lot of good Republicans there. For an additional $200,000 on top of the first, we fly you to the Middle East where they train you in beheadings.”
I looked at him, totally taken aback and startled. He went on.
“Then you get to do one!” He put his hand to his forehead, “I’ve got to sit down.”
I said, “I’ve got to go.” I really did. So I did. For free.
***
BY MARQUEL: Trading Republicanism. Made in USA
WOW!!! Fantastic
Nice.
I zippered my mouth with my finger.
Marquel, I guess we think alike:
I detest republicans:
I bet You can sleep at John Boehner’s house. I also bet it’s extra if you want your own bed…
Typos?
Wow, I wonder what a wekend would be like with them.
House Hinance Committee
Thanks. Should we be paying you? That would mean we fire someone else.
Marquel, I was going to say perfect when I reached the end and I have to say, I did not like it. Let me be an idealist, but I did not like its intimation a bit.
Sonja, I know where you’re coming from, but I like how Marquel pushed the envelope. I’m a die hard democrat and proud to be. Republicans are just scam bags and we should say it aloud with pride. Republicans you are scam bags.
Bravo!! both of you. ditto to both of you. Another proud democrat, David
if you bold your words google indexes them, so here they are: republicans are just scam bags and traitors. Lincoln would not recognize its party in any of them today. Republicans are American traitors.
John Belushi was such a force of nature, nice to be reminded how good Dan Aykroyd could be (how much for the gun?)
At first I was finding myself in agreement with you, maybe I pushed the envelope too hard. Then I realized we’re going to war again. The defense industries are salivating at the billions in profits. What did it take? Two beheadings. How do you think these people about to make billions feel about those beheadings? At least mixed feelings?
I totally agree with you Marquel. Indeed…two beheadings for billions in US corporate pockets.