[embedyt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTwIwfvNJLk[/embedyt]Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Ordinary Bystanders Section correspondent, was singing The Star–Spangled Banner to wake himself up this morning, when he read Ukraine Picks Motley Group to Exchange for Prisoners. Many of those released by Ukraine in a swaps said they had never fought for pro-Russian separatists, and had no idea how they ended up being detained. Marquel read the story and knew exactly why they were detained. And it was pretty smart of the Ukrainians, for whom Marquel had a newfound respect.
He went to a Ukrainian diner in Queens where he had heard a lot of recent refugees were hanging out. I asked around and found the only high ranking soldier in the diner. He had been a colonel. His four brothers had been captured.
“It’s there a big push to get all the POWs back?” I asked.
“You bet. That’s what I did. We had a deal with the Russians. One for one. We give them our POWs, they give us theirs.” He said.
“That sounds workable and fair,” I remarked.
“Sort of. But we only had three POWs and they had hundreds.” He said.
“I can see where you’re going with this,” I said, “but why don’t you tell me anyway?” I said.
“Sure. We didn’t have POWs, so we had to get some. First we just picked up people off the street who spoke Russian. I got one of my brothers in that. So we had another trade with more people off the street and I got one more. That left two still in captivity. We gathered a whole bunch of people waiting at a Russian bakery and trucked them off to the border. I even added three of my children.” He said.
“Your own children?” I asked.
“From a former marriage. So I got the two remaining brothers in that trade.” He said.
“And then you got out?” I asked.
“No. I owed favors because everyone except the Russians knew what we were doing. I had to go to our biggest universities to get Russian speaking students. We got about a hundred and fifty, and got the same amount of Ukrainian soldiers back.” He explained.
“Don’t you feel bad about taking perfectly innocent people and sticking them in Mother Russia?” I asked.
“Not really. I’m a Ukrainian patriot but living in Russia isn’t that bad and no different than Ukraine. They have more ballet, that’s the only difference. If you see people stretching and doing pirouettes on the tram, you’re in Russia. If not, Ukraine.” He said.
“But these people have families here, loved ones, children.”
“Most of them were too young to have children.” He said.
“Like how old?” I asked.
“There was a group of seven year olds throwing rocks. We trucked them to the border and said they were rebels, which they were in a sense. We got four of our POWs for them.'”
“So how will they get back home?” I asked.
“Many of them already came home. They found a way to go back across the border.” He said.
“So they’re safe and sound?” I asked.
“Not exactly. We’ve sent that group back four times. We feel good about it because we know they’ll come back. Each time we get forty of ours back.”
“And the Russians haven’t caught on?” I asked. “They haven’t recognized the same people being recirculated?”
“Not at all. That’s another difference. More ballet, less brains. If you’re on a tram with a bunch of dummies, some of whom are stretching, it’s Russia.” He asserted.
“That sounds a bit nationalistic and prejudiced. But if this is still going on, I’ve got to admit, there’s something missing on the Russians side.” I said.
“It’s possible the Russians are paying their commanders for repatriated Russians so they may have an interest in turning a blind eye.” He asserted.
I realized this is the way things work in that part of the world. No-one will understand why. I supposed if Putin gave an order to get their people back, there might be a bit of pressure to do so. This was ridiculous but so is the entire Ukraine war.
[embedyt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOzub_ghAbM[/embedyt]
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BY MARQUEL:
So accurate and so entertaining!!!!
Perfect pitch!
ditto
ditto2
I love it…I love you, M, and I love Fridays!
It’s so good I feel I need to copy parts of it:
“But these people have families here, loved ones, children.”
“Most of them were too young to have children.” He said.
“Like how old?” I asked.
“There was a group of seven year olds throwing rocks. We trucked them to the border and said they were rebels, which they were in a sense. We got four of our POWs for them.'”
“So how will they get back home?” I asked.
“Many of them already came home. They found a way to go back across the border.” He said.
it is perfect. So deliciously funny!
marvelous indeed.
“And the Russians haven’t caught on?” I asked. “They haven’t recognized the same people being recirculated?”
“Not at all. That’s another difference. More ballet, less brains. If you’re on a tram with a bunch of dummies, some of whom are stretching, it’s Russia.” He asserted.