Home Americanism Can’t Face It: Defriending and Wondering Why

Can’t Face It: Defriending and Wondering Why

I’m sorry, FHD. I didn’t want to do it. I hope you haven’t noticed, but you forced me into it. It’s probably my fault for somehow becoming your Facebook friend in the first place. I hadn’t heard from you, or even heard of or thought about you, for 20 years, but along with a bunch of other ‘long losts’ there you were on Facebook when I accidentally (because of work—long story) got an account almost two years ago. Since you got married, FHD, and added the D to your name, it took me a little while even to remember who you were. But I figured why not? We were friendly, if not quite friends, in high school. What could go wrong?

Several thousand posts of nothingness, apparently. Sure, there are other people I have on Facebook who post about stores they’ve been to, meals they’ve prepared, their kids that I’ve never come close to meeting. But they don’t do it several times every single day. And that’s what finally broke me. The sheer volume, FHD. I couldn’t take it anymore.

Yes, I stopped reading your posts long before defriending you a few weeks ago. After the first few hundred I had realized there would likely never be anything of interest in one of them, but simply scrolling past your name and knowing that lurking beneath were boring, unwanted details did something to me. And every couple of weeks I would check, just to be sure. Which is how I know that that pharmacy that was very close to you is now closed. Your PTA meetings happen on Tuesday nights. You don’t like packing for trips, but do like to post about your trip progress three times before even reaching the airport. The brand of pasta you prefer (OK, I don’t remember the brand, but I know you posted about it). Road construction happening near where you live.

Maybe the problem is mine. Perhaps I should be more interested in the ephemera posted by my ‘friends’ on Facebook. And if it makes you feel better FHD, you weren’t the first person I had to drop from my friend list (the guy who wouldn’t stop posting insane religious stuff got the axe before you did). If you noticed the defriending, I hope you’ll forgive me, but right now I need to go update my status and let people know about how long it took me to get to work this morning.


Iluustration by George Murphy


Comments are closed.