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TheWeekholeView Goes Be the Best You Can, Melania

Here at TPV we catch what the other mass-media outlets ignore.

This past week, Melania Trump bested us all with her magical powers, and that’s what fell through our man-made hole.

TPV focused on T. Rumps First Lady and her African visit. It is public knowledge that Africa is home to most developing countries on the planet. For white people like Melania, this is a euphemism (code) for “things are cheap there, buy in bulk.”

Laudatory,  Melania bested herself on that famine-ravished continent. She outdid herself… at spending. Trump’s wife bought in bulk. Okay, she did it with US taxpayers’ money. But she did support Egyptian tourism, and her adventure there is what fell through our TPV hole:

  1. According to federal spending records the first lady spent $95,050 for one day at the Semiramis Intercontinental Cairo.
  2. According to her spokeswoman, that’s fake news. Melania spent  $95,050 for just six hours.
  3. All that time, she walked like an Egyptian and blindly looked for what her husband can’t, doesn’t, and never would, Michael Jackson and the pharaohs benevolently thought. So, if all that’s left is shopping, let her shop, people!
  4. Back home, the meaning of Melania’s a-grammatical campaign “Be Best,” finally clarified: 
  5. That’s right: It should have said “Be the Best”, or “Be Your Best”,  or even “Don’t Be a Jerk, like Donald.”  English grammar requires that a superlative adjective following an imperative verb be preceded by the definite article “the”. Be good – be better – be the best, BUT Melania Be Best at Spending Our Money is all we can hope for. On a positive note, that money is not really ours. China is still our creditor-in-chief.
  6. As a result, TPV sent its own paparazzi to the White House to see if Melania wears the same jacket twice:
  7. The one with “I don’t care, do you?” The same jacket which finally relieved her soul of any hidden hefty goals with which we might have besieged it.

News collected from The Guardian and retold by Dana Neacsu.

Continue to Be Yourself, Melania! That’s what you can Be Best at!