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The Gospel According to Bratton

[embedyt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1ka4oKu1jo[/embedyt]Marquel, TPS NYTimes correspondent, was cleaning his guns when he read Death of a Man in Custody Adds Fuel to a Dispute Over Two of the Mayor’s Priorities: mending relations between the police and minority residents while fighting serious crime by focusing on petty offenses. The theory that arresting people for minor crimes, such as selling individual cigarettes on the street, will rid the city of murder and rape, seems at best overblown. It is unlikely, the neighborhood says impossible, that this popular denizen of the neighborhood would have become a mafia buttonman.

Bill Bratton, the police Commissioner, tried to defend the “broken windows” approach under which crime prone residents of decrepit neighborhoods become law abiding model citizens once all the windows are fixed.
Marquel pondered these policies and though they were great theories. Or great jokes if actually implemented. But commissioner Bratton seems just the comedian to try to do so. Marquel decided to find anyone laughing.

I went into several neighborhoods in Brooklyn, Manhattan, and some place called Staten Island. I approached several groups and asked my questions: did they know any murderers or rapists who started by selling single cigarettes? And how much less crime would there be if the windows in their neighborhoods were fixed.

The second question produced more laughs than anything although one man who thought I was making fun of him picked me up off the ground, called me a motherfucker and asked me who I was and what the he’ll was I doing there.

“I’m writing an article for ThePotholeView,” I said.
“Oh yeah,” he said,”prove it.”
“I’m Marquel,” I said.
He lifted me higher for all to see and asked, “does this look like Marquel?”
The crowd murmured, inspected me from all sides and said, “we don’t know what Marquel looks like. Nobody knows!”
“Okay then, tell a joke.” He said.
“We don’t tell jokes,” I said, “we do satire.”
“Then tell me a satire,” he said.
There I was two feet of the ground wondering what to say. “Okay, fixing the windows in a neighborhood like this is like…dumping a barrel of fish in a fished out fishing hole.” It was the best I could do without more oxygen. He let me down.
One of the others said, “That wasn’t a great joke but it’s certainly true. We don’t want windows, we want jobs.”
Another said, “You’re also right about the windows though. Put more up, more’ll get broke. Kids around here got nothing to do but throw rocks at windows.”
I got the same reactions wherever I went. Except I wasn’t lifted off the ground by my collar.
At one point a crowd was broken up by two cops who didn’t like crowds, it seems. So I asked them about the choke holds.
“Not allowed,” they said.
“And what do you do with a person who resists arrest?” I asked.
“Shoot him if he’s armed.” They both said.
“And if he’s not?” I asked.
“Get him under control and to the ground,” said one.
“And how do you do that?” I asked.
“Get him by the head” one said.
“You mean the neck?” I asked.
“That works best. If you squeeze he can’t breathe well so it’s easier.” Said the other.
“Isn’t that a choke hold?” I wondered.
“Choke hold’s not allowed,” they both said. One added, “This is just getting him by the neck. It’s different.”
Broken windows, petty offenses, choke holds. They’re all different and yet the same.
They all avoid the important questions and assure the police of unending business.
***
BY MARQUEL: The Gospel according to Bratton

3 COMMENTS

  1. Which proves that the old journals are only good to enable Marquel look professional.

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