Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Scoundrel’s Last Refuge Section correspondent, was trying to remember if he ever had a mom, or a plunger, when he read that Giuliani said “Obama Had a White Mother, So I’m Not a Racist.” Marquel considered Giuliani‘s criticisms.
Obama doesn’t love his country because he had a strange upbringing. All those white people hanging around him. But because of those white people, Giuliani couldn’t be a racist. Even Obama’s mother was white.
Giuliani didn’t explain why Obama‘s love was necessary to cure America’s ills. Most of them have to do with money, and violence. Marquel assumed his accountant didn’t love him, but Marquel was more interested in avoiding an audit than a kiss from Hyman, his accountant. Giuliani also said he missed Reagan, even though Reagan, in deep Alzheimer’s for the last forty years of his life, would never have missed the ex mayor.
Love is strange, especially the asymmetric variety. But Giuliani has always been more interested in appearances than reality. Remember his plan to paint fake windows and curtains in dilapidated buildings to make the neighborhood look better and, mysteriously, crime resistant?
A trip to Giuliani’s secret East Side Mansion was all it took to gain an audience with Sir Make Believe.
“Now tell me, Mayor, why Obama’s parents’ race makes criticism of him non racist? Weren’t a lot of slaves half white because their masters raped their parents? Did that make slavery non racist? How many white slaves were there in the 19th century?” Marquel asked.
“That’s a lot to answer. I don’t think there were any white slaves and yes there were half white slaves due to rapes. But that was in slavery. In today’s society being half white makes a difference. And one of those differences is that when you criticize someone like that, it’s not necessarily racist.” He said.
“It would help. If a President loves America, he loves Americans.” The mayor said.
“No but the president is different. He stands for America.” He said.
“Maybe not you. But you’re obviously not a real American. Otherwise he would have loved you.” He said.
“It was simply untrue. It wasn’t Christianity. It was European nobility. If you don’t know the difference, you’ve got a dilettante view of history.” He said.
“I think it’s a very limited view of Christianity, made up to fit an argument.” He countered.
“When someone robs you he doesn’t point human despair at you, he points a gun.” Said Giuliani.
“Could be,” sparred Giuliani.
“You’ve got that right.” He said.
He nodded.
“That’s grossly unfair and untrue.” He said.
“No, he really loved America.” He said.
“That’s unfair, too.” He said.
I was ready to leave. But I had one more question. “You say Obama can’t be a real American because he’s not like the rest of us. Different background.”
“That’s correct.” He said.
“I didn’t say that.” He said.
“Don’t call me low class,” he warned.
i love it
perfect pitch
ditto
ditto2
Have a seat, Rudy
Really nice satire! I can’t stop laughing!
Bill approves
Profoundly nasty. Good reply Marquel. I wish more were like you
love the visual. Giuliani if Ofili’s dung. and the dung is Hillary. Hillay is dung, by the way
Haha! This satire is the shit, Marquel!
You’re a funny person Marquel……… A funny person