Oklahoma Set for Double Execution Amid Storm Over … Last Supper. Its Price to Be Exact

The New York Times apparently reported: Oklahoma Set for Double Execution Amid Storm Over Lethal-Drug Secrecy. According to that story, Clayton Lockett and Charles Warner were to be executed Tuesday evening after lengthy appeals over the state’s refusal to disclose the source of its lethal drugs.

Marquel found the story familiar and indeed he has recently written a piece on this theme. But what interested Marquel more was the fact the Times noted at the end: one prisoner’s meal of Chateaubriand, fried shrimp, garlic bread, an entire pecan pie, and coke was denied because it exceeded the limit of $15,00. What kind of lives do these Oklahoma people lead where a fifteen dollar meal is considered appropriate to meet your maker? So Marquel surveyed some of the local  eateries on line to see what Okies consider good eats. Keeping in mind that the warden had suggested a steak dinner from the local Western Sizzlin as a suitable meal to bring you to your Final destination.

I started with Western Sizzzlin. After all, it came with a recommendation. I just wondered whether the warden had many family meals there, knowing that it was really suitable not for a family meal, but a Final meal. What would the dinner conversation be? Do they have dinner conversations in Oklahoma?

But I found at Western Sizzlin almost the meal that our lately condemned (and I must add recently executed last night in what the times called a “botched” execution, delaying his dinner companion’s date to some future time) had ordered. There was not Chateaubriand, but they have a top notch ribeye, the shrimp, garlic toast, everything. I started to wonder how an execution can be botched if they end up killing the guy. I suppose it’s a matter of aesthetics. Perhaps somebody neglected his pleases and thank yous.

If you want Chateaubriand, you have to go to Gia Como‘s, seemingly the most posh joint in town. It’s $51.50 plus tax, but that’s for two, so if the warden were big enough to split the tab, $25.75 doesn’t seem bad but still blows away the state maximum–and they are our hosts for the entire evening, let’s not forget.

Down the street there is a Chinese restaurant that has a full BUFFET including unlimited coke for under our target price of $15.00. Now it’s possible our prisoner doesn’t like Chinese. But he certainly didn’t have to worry about the old saying that you’ll be hungry an hour later, would he? The problem, as I see it, is the buffet arrangement. Doesn’t sound like a delivery situation and I suspect there might be problems parading him around the buffet table with other patrons.

There was still another alternative. Angie’s Steak house offers steaks from sirloin for $14.00 to filet for $32.00. It doesn’t look promising. Our condemned (now deceased) wouldn’t get anything to drink, certainly not his giant coke, and wouldn’t come close to his entire pecan pie (mmm, I could have shared that with him if he was feeling generous and not homicidal). So Angie’s seems entirely impractical.

The Meeting Place, just down the road seems perfect. Lots of meat and steak, but only as sandwiches. Prices are right for the state of Oklahoma, who is hosting this meal, ranging from $8.95 for a fried steak sandwich to the same for a hot roast beef sandwich. No shrimp though, and a slice of pecan pie is only $2.95. a giant coke to go–seemingly ideal–is $1.75. The problem is that an entire pecan pie (baked to order) busts the whole budget at $17.95 alone. But if you forego dessert, you’re within the budget.

It looks like the warden was right. Western Sizzlin has what it takes at the right price but it will take lots of compromise. Here’s the deal. No Chateaubriand, but a good ribeye is $18.99, the shrimp is $11.99, I didn’t see the garlic bread but all the sides are listed at $0.00 (baked potato, sweet potato, French fries, grilled veggies, and onion rings). That’s $31.00 not including coke and nowhere did I see pecan pie, slices or whole. Still over budget.

What could he have had at Western Sizzlin, which the warden recommended, for $15.00? The junior sirloin is $9.99. Our man didn’t sound in the mood for any junior plate, though. No shrimp. No pecan pie, not even a taste. A coke would fit and he could fill up on the sides, right?

Where did this whole final meal thing come from? I thought that there were only two options at an execution: blindfold (or not) and the traditional cigarette. There was never a limit in what kind of cigarette. Whatever the sheriff was smokin’, you’d be smokin’. As usual the old days seem like the good ole days

I’m glad I have nothing to do with executions in Oklahoma. The catering is a job in itself, and not for the faint of heart. I wouldn’t even know what to recommend and I imagine that must be a key role. But the Chinese buffet seems the way to go and you get that unlimited coke. An hour later, not to worry.

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For more Oklahoma dining go to Yelp.com, for more from Marquel go to @MarquelatTPV.

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Oklahoma Set for Double Execution Amid Storm Over … Last Dinner. Its Price to Be Exact Random