President Obama has chosen Kurt DelBene (pictured here with a helmet) to replace Jeffrey D. Zients as the fix-it manager for HealthCare.gov.
DelBene was described as “very excited to give the full Microsoft experience to all Americans.” TPV could sense his excitement, and agreed all Americans would be grateful.
“Well not everyone literally,” DelBene hedged.
TPV asked what that could mean.
“It’s perfectly obvious,” DelBene added, “that PCs will operate flawlessly. But those Mac people will have to fend for themselves.”
But that’s scandalous, TPV interjected.
DelBene shrugged. “It’s always been this way. You want to do business, get health insurance, you do it via PC. If you’re an artist or a musician or a creative type, you might prefer to paint pretty pictures and take a chance on your health. That’s life.”
Does Obama know about this? TPV asked.
“Well of course he knows he hired me. And I’m a Microsoft man. I told him about the security updates and he went wild. He says he loves it when they flash across the screen and he can’t turn it off. He said it takes care of him just like he wants Obamacare to take care of the nation.”
But, but TPV stammered.
“The best part is our plans for the future. We’ve got it planned all the way through Obamacare version 8.1. And even 9 is almost ready.”
So why not just issue the latest one now? We asked.
DelBene collapsed in a fit of hysterical laughter and honking. It seemed he couldn’t manage to breathe. But he did say between laughing fits,
Are you an idiot? There’s no profit there!
TPV withdrew. Fearfully.
Not the NY Times’ reporter though, and here are his words: http://nyti.ms/1fk6lfX.