Home Dana Neacsu TheWeekholeView: Finally!

TheWeekholeView: Finally!

Businesswoman with fists in air looking upHere, each hole starts on Wednesdays and this is what fell through this past week, in more than one way or day:

On Wednesday, October 23, finally, the tabloid media reported that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s wedding  won’t be happening ‘any time soon.’ Asked why, the not-to-be bride and groom said that they were making more money selling stories about impending not-happening wedding ceremonies than by selling their wedding pictures.

Thursday, October 23, finally, U.S. and British forces abandoned a crucial Afghan base located in an area which Taliban had been controlling and will control for the next few centuries or until everybody goes abroad, whichever comes first.

On Friday, October 24, finally, New Yorkers learned that Ebola is indeed a contagious disease if you share bodily liquids with a contaminated person showing symptoms, such as fever and diarrhea.  As a precaution, TPV urges its readers not to sit in wet seats in the subway.

On Saturday, October 25, the Bushes finally rallied around Jeb Bush, the brainy brother whose IQ approaches 100, and encouraged him to run for the US presidency in 2016.

You are both good looking and married to a Latina. That should vouch for your presidential ability and overcome your darn high IQ, his mother Barbara was heard to say.

On Sunday, October 26,  finally hard data leaked about what everybody knew already: the United States took pride in harboring Nazis but not Communists. TPV explains this democratic decision pragmatically: while Nazis had connections in all western countries and thus could be useful CIA spies, the Communists could only spy in Soviet countries, and there little happened except: school, work, family, and a bit of dancing in Cuba.

On Monday, October 27, NASA finally got around their immobilizing envy and sent out in space a rocket with a dead dog, Laika2. Asked why they would do such a crazy thing, a NASA spokesperson replied:

We ran out of money for oxygen. And anyway, the dog was not trained to take pictures. That would be done remotely by NASA engineers located in undisclosed locations on the Florida coast.

On Tuesday, October 28, 2014, finally, the New Jersey nurse, Kaci Hickox, whose unnecessary quarantine for suspected Ebola contamination in a tent by the NJ turnpike put her picture on the front page of many tabloids, was sent home. Minutes later, surrounded by reporters, Governor Christie called to ask her how she felt now that she was released. Uncharacteristically, the woman replied:

“Go fuck yourself!”

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  BY DANA NEACSU: TheWeekholeView – Finally!

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5 COMMENTS

  1. I think he had to let the nurse go after Ms. Christie found out he had been keeping her. That explains Nurse Hickox’s otherwise cryptic response (because she’s not going to be around to do that for him anymore)

  2. Wondering if the Ebola policy thing isn’t part of his bid for the GOP nomination in 2016, an effort to put some distance between himself and anything too “sciencey.” I remember the tight spot he was in after Sandy, trying to work across the aisle but stay ideologically viable regarding so called climate change.

    As for keeping the good people of NJ safe, maybe he should consider shutting down the roads in and out – he’s got some experience there.

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