TheWeekholeView Goes to Rio. And Laughs

The ups and downs this week have been great and deep. Here is what fell through the hole this past few days.

On Saturday, August 6, after four decades of Olympic glory, the Romanian women’s gymnastic team  failed to even qualify for the Summer Games in Rio. Luckily, the event happened after the team landed in Rio and the rooms booked for them in the Olympic Village remained unclaimed, and thus available for the week ahead.

On Sunday, August 7, three-time Olympic doubles champions Venus and Serena Williams lost in the first round to Lucie Šafářová and Barbora Strýcová of the Czech Republic, and, of course, to their own fear of Zika.

On Monday, August 8, Serbian tennis star Novak Djokovic surprised the world by losing to someone who played great tennis … for free.

My career goal is to crown my career with gold,” Novak said stupefied. “So, oops, I’m out of here.”

TPV notes that Novak’s path to Olympic gold had been eased by the withdrawal of top-10 players Roger Federer, Stan Wawrinka, Milos Raonic, Tomas Berdych, and Dominic Thiem. Nevertheless, Olympic was not what Novak was about.

On Tuesday, August 9, hijab wearing fencer Ibtihaj Muhammad, who had declared jihad on Donald Trump last week, lost almost immediately at the Rio Olympics. The Guardian reported that it was a mistake for Rio 2016 to let her go. TPV believes the hijab fell on her face and Ibtihaj could not see her opponent, stabbing herself instead in the foot. Accidentally.

On Wednesday, August 10, confusion happened. TPV can report the event as it did with Novak: Serena realized the mistake of showing up, and quickly left;  post these pictures of Elina Svitolina and Serena Williams, and let our readers reach their conclusions, or say that Svitolina piccolina smashed Serena Williams, the reigning queen of tennis.

On Thursday, August 11, finally greatness happened. With his 12th individual Olympic title Michael Phelps is the equal of the all time Olympic record set by Leonidas of Rhodes in 152 BC. TPV has long doubted human progress, but finally, our skepticism has been put to rest.

Steroids do help to catch up with the Ancient Greeks.

On Friday, August 12, USA Today reported false rumors that Gabby Douglas threw shade to Simone Biles gold medal win, but that was totally false. Everybody knows that Gabby suffers of Resting Face Bitch syndrome, and both Jonah Hill and Anna Kendrick came to Gabby’s rescue, saying:

It’s true. RFB is a syndrome. Even CNN says so.

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By DANA NEACSU: TheWeekholeView Goes to Rio. And Laughs