TPV is greatful to be able to reproduce Bono’s appendix to his little book published a few days ago on his website.
If this is too long, then you do not know who I am which means you do not exist, because I am Bono and this is my appendix to my A to Z little book of a big year.
- A is for Africa. I sing for Africa and Africa has AIDS and AIDS is still a horrible disease and I sing against it.
- B is for Bono, myself.
- C is for Central Park where I crashed into a garbage bin while cycling drunk because I am Bono and my residence is in NYC because taxes are lower here than in Ireland.
- D is for dollars which I will make more now that even TPV writes about me.
- E is for The End of Poverty by Jeffrey Sachs. That book is still available from Amazon for $14 in paperback and $15 as a kindle file.
- F is for friendship. I wrote the forward to that book out of friendship for Jeffrey and Africa.
- G is for the guitar I won’t play in the band’s upcoming Grand Tour.
- H is for heroes such as me and myself.
- I is for myself and Ireland.
- J is for my one of a kind leather jacket, which prevented my humerus bone from falling out and just let it stick out so the doctors could recognize me.
- K is for Kilimanjaro. I love that African mountain.
- L is for let me be Bono. Don’t hassle me. Don’t ask to take selfies with me.
- M is for this place in Africa where there are only women and kids because the men have died of AIDS.
- N is for NO to taxes. I don’t like taxes.
- O is for oh, that is a bottle of Irish whiskey.
- P is for the religion of those Columbia Presbyterian doctors who gave me a new titanium elbow.
- Q is for the Queen.
- R, S, and T are for rest in peace if you cannot be me.
- U is for U2.
- V is for Victory.
- W is for African wanderlust.
- X is for my elbow X-Ray.
- Y and Z are for my favorite animals yak and zebra. I own two of each…
and please don’t ask anything, shhh. I am sleepy. I have cancelled every public appearance and decided this missive is all the communication I can manage for the first half of 2015, beyond muttering and singing to myself of course. This is all you will hear from me until I can charge you a hefty ticket price to hear my music.
For Africa for ever,
Bono
***
BY DANA NEACSU: Bono’s Appendix to His Little Book to Humanity
Bono oh no.
I don’t know anything about Bono aside he is from U2 and that he broke some of his bone-os biking in NYC. I felt sympathy because I know people who bike in NYC and I worry about them – I used to bike in NYC and I, of course, worry about myself too. Also, and I know this is silly, I feel bad when people get hurt – even if they’re rich and maybe a little embarrassing – like most American’s I think that I myself would be embarrassing if I ever got rich.
All that said, I found your piece quite hilarious. I almost embarrassed myself (see above) by laughing out loud; the corners of my eyes are slightly damp and my mouth is a tiny bit more sore – is there anyone at TVP I can sue for that part? How about at Acer, I did injure myself using their computer?