Home Ibrahim Sajid Malick Alien Love

Alien Love

[embedyt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQBtIgLdXPc[/embedyt]Recent developments from India indicate that the Hindus are catching up with Muslims in the stupidity contest.

Not only India’s ruling Bharatiya Janata Party’s (BJP) elected representative has launched a campaign to reduce frequency of sex, others of similar shade have taken their violent protests to the street condemning a box office movie.

BJP member of parliament, Alok Sanjar, told his constituency that frequent sex can drastically reduce a person’s lifespan.

 “I was reading Krishna when I went through a memoir. A man asks Lord Krishna when should one have sex? The reply was ‘for birth of a child’. The man asked what if he wanted to have more? The reply was ‘once in 12 years’. The man insisted again to have the reply of ‘once in six years’. When he asked again, the reply was ‘once in a year’. Then the reply was ‘once in six months’ and then ‘once in a month’. But when the man asked again what if he was not satisfied, then Lord Krishna said one should do this with a shroud (qafan) by his side,” said Sanjar.

But normal Indian people who grew up thinking Kama Sutra was a religious text and those who have been worshiping Kama, the god of love and Rati, the goddess of lust were extremely disappointed. They questioned how could frequent sex be bad for their health and longevity? To corroborate their religious view they also relied on science.

Recent medical researches have proved having regular sex is good for your emotional and biological health.

While the country was still embroiled in the controversy over frequency of sex, BJP, and their subsidiaries the VHP, Bajrang Dal, Hindu Janajagruti Samiti and the All India Hindu Mahasabha have taken to the street protesting a box office movie PK for allegedly mocking Hindu deities.

[embedyt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNKnKELA940[/embedyt]

However, when we thought it couldn’t get any funnier, another BJP leader Subramanian Swamy told the media that the notorious Pakistani Intelligence Agency ISI funded the film.

A Pakistani blogger responded:PK

Dear Subramanian Swami,

Do you not know Pakistan at all?

If we had enough money, before funding a Bollywood movie, we could have bought our Pakistan cricket team a World Cup. We could have lobbied to deny India the hosting rights of the World Cup then worked the schedule to ensure Pakistan wins it. As a goodwill gesture, the ISI could have even ensured Manmohan Singh comes to Lahore for the semi-final against India, in which the Indian cricket team magically misses 11 chances to get Shahid Afridi’s wicket. To show our magnanimity and to make it easier for India to miss those chances, we would have even let Kamran Akmal keep wickets for India – the only man in the world who cannot even catch Ebola.

This Pakistani flavored reporter decided to go a local movie theater in NYC with his Indian wife to watch PK and get to the bottom of this controversy. We were pleased that the movie mocked all religions equally. We were willing to stretch our imagination and buy into the whole “alien” landing plot.

But what we found very unrealistic was the presentation of Pakistan’s embassy in Belgium. We can tell you for sure no Pakistani embassy employs hot and polite receptionists; none is as clean and fancy as the one depicted in the movie; and most importantly, none gives a shit about who calls.

 ***

By IBRAHIM SAJID MALICK: Alien Love

4 COMMENTS

  1. This is a very stupid article. No one should ever compare muslims with Hindus. muslims are the scum of the earth. The Muslim tyranny in India was as blood-thirsty and insidious as it was in all parts of the globe that were unfortunate to be trampled by the Jihadis. The Hindus suffered initial setbacks due to the innocuous but ill-founded belief amongst them, as amongst all other non-Muslims, that the Muslims too were normal human beings, who would after a victory, settle down to govern the defeated population. But the Muslims were, and still are, compulsively paranoid mass murderers who can be outmatched only by someone who are themselves doubly compulsively paranoid mass murderers as compared to the Muslims. And only when such a mentality will prevail over Islam, can all the Muslims who infest our planet be neutralized either through their death or their conversion to any faith other than Islam. Only this way can our beautiful planet be saved from Islam.

  2. In the sixties we would have said you’re part of the problem. You’re lucky the pothole believes in absolute free speech. We even allow garbage. You wouldn’t be the Pope, would you, using a pseudonym?

  3. Mr. Subramaniam thanks for your kind comment. I agree Muslims have been kind of on the nutty side. However, I am afraid that Hindus are catching up quickly. Thanks for proving my point 🙂

  4. Very funny, nicely written. I really liked your comment about Pakistani embassy depiction in the movie. That was our observation too.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.