Marquel, TPVs Times Reality Section correspondent, was taking a cold shower when his eyes got stuck to the New York Times article: Is Global Warming Real? Most Americans Say Yes. A majority of people favor action to slow climate change, although it is not among their top policy priorities. But whether one policy is better than another is a political matter, whether the phenomenon is actually real is apparently now determined by opinion polls.
It does seem easier than submitting everything to the lengthy, expensive, and anti democratic process of scientific testing. Why should global warming be imposed on us? We are Americans and, as exceptional Americans, we should get to voice our vote. America the free.
Marquel pondered that quandary. Indeed we are a democracy and despite the Founding Fathers efforts to water it down, the genius of our system, copied the world over, is that we vote on everything that affects us.
Marquel didn’t know whom to consult about this. He decided to go to the Times opinion measurers and see their take on it.
The Times man said that popular opinion is essential in America where democracy decides so many things.
“So what about this global warming?” I asked. “Do we vote on that?”
“We did,” he said with a cheery grin, “and Americans voted two to one that it’s a fact.”
I was troubled and confused. “Do we get to vote on facts?” I asked.
“Juries do it,” said the Times man. “And Times readers do it with our surveys. It’s the American way.”
“So if Americans vote that God exists, which they surely would, then God exists, is that right? As a matter of incontrovertible fact.”
“You got it,” he answered, “it’s the American way.”
“Well I read in another poll that the majority of Americans view the French as inferior because they talk funny and eat bugs.” I said. “Does that mean it’s a fact or opinion?”
“Bugs?” He asked. “What bugs?”
“Snails. I know they’re not technically bugs. I think they’re mollusks or something. But if Americans think they’re bugs, that’s another fact right?”
“I think that’s true. The French are inferior and eat bugs. Because we believe it. It’s a fact.” He said.
“A scientific fact?” I wondered.
“Absolutely.” Said the Times man.
“But there are other surveys that say most Americans believe we are not descended from a common ancestor with monkeys and that the world was created in seven days. Period. Is that a fact?” I asked.
“Absolutely. That’s what makes America great. If we vote on it, it’s true. It’s essential to our democracy.” He said.
“I find that troubling,” I remarked, “facts can’t be amenable to popular vote.”
“Oh but they are,” said the Times man. “You weren’t born here were you?”
“Of course I was,” I said, “and so was my father and my mother. And my children. And their children.”
“That’s impossible,” he said. “You don’t have the American’s allegiance to democracy.”
“I don’t?” I questioned.
“Where was Obama born?” He asked.
“Hawaii.”
“Wrong,” he said, “Kenya. Americans voted on it.”
“And I suppose there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?”
“Oh yes.” He asserted. “I conducted that poll myself. Massive vote in favor.”
“But don’t you understand that if you extend democracy to the underlying facts, democracy will fail?” I asked.
“Why is that?” He blustered, obviously threatened.
“Because if we vote for facts we like and then vote for people or policies tied to those facts we will drown in fantasy.”
“I can’t agree with you,” he insisted, “we would have to take a vote on that.”
“What if we voted against e=mc²?” I asked. “Would that make Einstein wrong?”
“But that couldn’t happen. Americans have already voted in favor of Einstein, Martians, angels, and football.” He said. “Everything has been decided. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Football?” I asked. “What kind of a fact is that?”
“It’s an American fact that the football team with the best record is better than the others. And that the winner of the Super Bowl is the best of all.”
“American facts?” I asked.
“Yes that’s why we’re exceptional. Look at the Europeans. They can’t believe in soccer the way we believe in football because it’s all fixed over there. We can vote on the truth, but they need the scientific method. It’s a corrupt society. Thank God for the good old U S of A.”
I thanked God and I left. Was the Times man right? Do we really believe America is so special we can vote on reality? Maybe we do and maybe we don’t. But if we vote on it, according to him, and we believe we can, we can…. It’s this how empires collapse? I guess it’ll take a vote.
***
BY MARQUEL: America’s Vote on Reality? Tomorrow Is Today
Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
“American facts?” I asked.
“Yes that’s why we’re exceptional. Look at the Europeans. They can’t believe in soccer the way we believe in football because it’s all fixed over there. We can vote on the truth, but they need the scientific method. It’s a corrupt society. Thank God for the good old U S of A.”
Amazingly accurate. I love how you surmise our national idiocy:
It does seem easier than submitting everything to the lengthy, expensive, and anti democratic process of scientific testing. Why should global warming be imposed on us? We are Americans and, as exceptional Americans, we should get to voice our vote. America the free.
Finally, an American (assuming you are one, Marquel) better than Toqville at describing our national idiocy:
“But don’t you understand that if you extend democracy to the underlying facts, democracy will fail?” I asked.
“Why is that?” He blustered, obviously threatened.
“Because if we vote for facts we like and then vote for people or policies tied to those facts we will drown in fantasy.”
“I can’t agree with you,” he insisted, “we would have to take a vote on that.”
If you are so fancy, write the name of the French guy correctly: Alexis de Tocqueville. Here is a bit of Wikipedia for you.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexis_de_Tocqueville
what a shmack. Correct that too.
no need. if you think I’m drunk. Otherwise, the Yiddish word for obnoxious, but always correct, is Schmuck
with something as important as climate change, do we really want to engage a painfully slow process that, in the end, produces an endless string of endlessly “evolving” theories?
Maybe I did not get your article.
You got it:
Americans want certainty, Americans want action, Americans want results: vote, get the facts, and you’re done!
Great enjoyable reading:
“So if Americans vote that God exists, which they surely would, then God exists, is that right? As a matter of incontrovertible fact.”
“You got it,” he answered, “it’s the American way.”
SAM: I think the evolving theories involve smaller details. There is consensus, I believe, in the scientific community on the nature of the problem and its causes. I don’t think we need to wait for unanimity nor take a vote. But of course voting is more fun.