Lobbying Fight for New York Casinos. And Easy Money

Marquel, TPVs Times Gambling and Crime correspond?ent read the byline, , and fled away to find those winners who could turn losses in profits.

A casino license, particularly within a leisurely drive of New York City, could be a golden ticket to billions in profits in one of the last underdeveloped gambling markets in the nation. But how to winnow down the list of 22 applicants turned out to be as easy as saying, “Blackjack.”

Usually the answer to this type of problem–how to distribute government largesse, in this case the guarantee to make billions–is resolved through corruption. Basically everyone gets paid off, no one loses except the public  (wait till operations really start and then you’ll see the public lose big. Over and over). But usually they don’t publicise the “bidders” nor their numbers. But here we have 22 looking for a handful of franchises. Marquel knew something was up.

I went to the commission. They would say nothing about their procedures. So I changed tack. I said I wanted to apply for a franchise.

“Why?” They asked.

“I like,” I said, “watching human misery.” That seemed to do the trick. I was ushered through two apparently sound proof doors. It was immediately clear how these decisions are being made.

Inside were craps tables, poker, blackjack, roulette, and baccarat. I sat down at the roulette table. The minimum was a thousand dollars. So I went to the bar. I had a seltzer. A man standing next to me started up a conversation. I asked him how this worked.

“Simple,” he said, “they hold onto your winnings. Half goes to the members of the commission. In the old days that would have been called a kickback.”

“Or just a bribe?” I asked.

He whispered to me, “I can see you’re new to this game. What we call it now is the franchise fee. Never been to Albany before?”

“Once,” I said.

“Well this is pretty interesting. We’re all gamblers here so we have fun working out the franchises.” He said.

“But aside from the… franchise fee… Isn’t there a more meritorious way of deciding among the applicants?” I asked.

“Oh I’m sure. But all of us are in the gambling game. That means we’d really prefer not to be examined on the merits. They might find other… franchise fees… that we’ve paid and are still paying elsewhere.” He explained, “so this avoids any serious investigation. You win the most, you get the best location. And it goes down from there.”

“What if there’s no agreement on what the order is?” I asked.

“High card all the way down.” He said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“If two or more people disagree,” he said, “they draw cards. High card wins.”

“Why don’t they play war?” I asked. That’s about as far as my gambling or card playing goes, to be honest.

“War?” He asked.

“Yeah, you both put down cards, high card is winner. You go through the deck, and if there’s a tie you declare war. Three cards down, one card up. High card takes it all. Keep going till one wins it all. It’s fun.”

“Now I know what you’re talking about,” he said. “I played that as a kid.”

“It was fun, right?” I asked.

“Well, yeah,” he said, “but these folks are way beyond that.”

“Is drawing the high card as fun as war?” I asked.

“He looked at me a bit and finally said, “actually no. But this is business. It’s not for fun.”

“Too bad,” I said. “Tell me, if you get a franchise or if you already have a casino or two, don’t you feel bad when ordinary people tap out, broke?”

“I don’t think about it. It’s a business.” He insisted.

“Maybe some people just want to have fun,” I suggested. “What’s the chances of a war table where people could just have fun?”

“I don’t think casinos are for you,” he said, “we have to justify every square foot on the basis of profits. There’s no profit in war.”

“Happy customers aren’t a kind of profit?” I asked.

“Like I said,” he repeated, “I don’t think casinos are for you.”

He was right. Before leaving, I drained my seltzer. I couldn’t afford to waste it. It cost me five bucks. It’s a business.

***

For more seltzer humor got to go to @MaquelatTPV.

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Lobbying Fight for New York Casinos. And Easy Money.