Detainees at Afghanistan’s largest U.S.-built prison chose to stay in and watch Mad Men rather than make their escape through the open doors, according to a new Pentagon report.

 The U.S. spent $60 million to construct a state of the art prison able to house 2000 Afghani detainees. This is the U.S. Army’s response to the current situation where detainees at Afghanistan’s largest U.S.-built prison were able to literally kick through their poorly constructed cells. Also, the U.S. Army wanted to demonstrate the world the professionalization of detention operations after years of scandals in Iraq and Afghanistan.

From ThePotholeView World Headquarters, here in the Lower east Side, the facility appears a new success in the U.S. war on terror. It uses U.S. superiority as a way to change people’s terrorist moods. For example, the cell doors do not lock or,in the words of a new report from the Defense Department’s inspector general, they are “incapable of locking either manually or electronically.”

This new war strategy relies only on the hope that  the facility will be so superior to any other Afghani lodging  that the detainees will just stay in and watch Direct TV. And so far it proved the correct approach to winning the Afghani terrorists’ hearts and minds and to applying Teddy Roosevelt’s “Open Door Policy”: No detainees have expressed any desire to make their escape.

Dana Neacsu

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