Hundreds of Egyptians Sentenced to Death in Killing of a Police Officer. 529 Sentenced to death for riot that killed a cop.

An ordinary NY Times correspondent must have written:  Hundreds of Egyptians Sentenced to Death in Killing of a Police Officer. Marquel, TPVs Times Middle East correspondent counted the bodies: 529 were sentenced to death for rioting which caused the cop killing.

Marquel thought this interesting because it was difficult imagining 529 agreeing as a group to kill someone. He also thought, unjustifiably, he knew, that if that many people agreed, the victim must have done something really bad. But that was unfair, he also knew, so as penance he flew to Egypt to interview the judge.

Arriving in Cairo, it felt like his penance was paid but nevertheless he travelled to the courthouse to do the story. Marquel is literally Old School and so to him the story is everything.

The judge seemed old, tired, and angry. Marquel entered non-provocative mode. “Your honor, praise Allah, can you tell me how you arrived at a sentence of death for so many people? I heard, in fact, that many of them were out of town on the date in question.”

“That would not matter in a conspiracy like this.” He said.

“So was this really a conspiracy crime and not really murder?” I wondered.

“No, it was murder,” he said and sat back. Then he added, “and conspiracy.”

“Praise Allah,” I said, “did you just decide that after I said it, or are they officially charged with conspiracy?”

“Officially charged,” he insisted. Then he added, “and I just decided it.” I looked at him accusingly and he continued, “Both.”

“Praise Allah,” I said. “But as a matter of legal theory isn’t the death sentence reserved for the most egregiously guilty, what we would call first degree murder, and usually lesser sentences for accomplices who didn’t participate directly in the killing?”

“We have that, too,” he answered and then he sat back. Then he added, “but not always.” I must have looked confused for he added, “Both.”

“Don’t you think it is physically impossible for 529 people to each individually participate in killing someone?” I asked.

“I would say it is a major achievement, but not impossible” he said, adding, “but maybe usually impossible.”

“So,” I said, “praise Allah, would you say both?”

“I don’t know,” he answered, “frankly I don’t know what we’re talking about anymore. Could you cut that Praise Allah crap? It’s driving me nuts.”

“Praise Allah,” I started, then corrected myself, “I mean sorry of course. Just trying to be polite.”

“Well,” he said, “it’s polite to Allah, but annoying to me. I’m not Allah.”

“Of course not,” I said, “let me ask you doesn’t this sentence and proceeding set back the cause of Egyptian democracy?”

“You should talk,” he said, “every week we read about mass shootings in the U.S. Fifty people killed by one lunatic. So what’s wrong if we in Egypt have the opposite, fifty lunatics kill one person? I would think maybe you should think about that. Just imagine if instead of all your mass shootings there was just one death and mass defendants?”

“Praise Allah that’s a great idea” I blurted out. “Sorry.”

“I just destroyed your story didn’t I? Praise Allah.” He asserted.

It was my time to be confused. I’d lost track of my story. Was this just cultural relativism? He was right. We have hundreds of people killed by a handful of morons. They have one victim killed by hundreds of morons. This was a pickle.

He saw me struggling and tried to help. “You know I am right. Think of it this way, what if you charged the murderer and the entire NRA? Isn’t that what we have done? Good idea or bad?”

“Your English is so good, your reasoning is close to unassailable, and your knowledge of American current events is amazing.” I offered.

“I went to UCLA,” he said.

“Are you sure or did you see it in an old world war II movie?” I asked.

“I’m pretty sure,” he answered, “but I saw the movie too.” He paused then added, “Both.”

“Nevertheless,” I asked, “don’t you think you’ve damaged your judicial system by holding a trial in one day, not hearing a word of defense, and then sentencing them all to death?”

“If that were true I would say yes,” he answered, “but it’s false.”

“How’s that?” I wondered.

“For a reporter you are not well informed,” he chastised, “I acquitted 16 of them.”

“I hate to say it,” I said, ” but that does seem strange. Why did you acquit them?”

“First to preserve faith in the judicial system. It’s obvious I was being honest. I cannot be faulted as long as I have those 16 acquittals.”

“But you’re going to kill all the rest. It’s seems so cruel to spare so few completely at random,” I said.

He said, “Ah, but it wasn’t random.”

“No,” I asked, “then how did you choose them?”

“Simple,” he said, “and let it be a lesson.”

“Huh?” I grunted, as articulately as possible.

“They were the only ones who didn’t say, ” ‘Praise Allah.’ “

I bit my tongue and said good bye.

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