As you would expect, the NY Times recently published: In Hunt for Lost Jet, New Sightings of Debris Are Promising but Inconclusive . Also as you would expect, Marquel, TPVs Times Correspondent, found most are the wrong articles including other jets, missiles, nuclear bombs.
Marquel was invited to ride along a Malaysian air force C135 as it searched for missing flight 370. After being outfitted with a flight suit and parachute, Marquel waited for his gun but was told they aren’t necessary for surveillance flights. Marquel was disappointed but understood later that almost nothing is necessary for surveillance flights.
For the first hour, Marquel could be heard shouting, “I see something” about every three minutes. Each time the craft dived to the surface only to find detritus as the crew described it. One was a cresting wave, another was a dead flock of seagulls, and the last was a giant pile of floating Q Tips. After that they took away his glasses.
An hour after that they also took away the navigators glasses, because he, too, had too many false calls. The plane went lumbering along until you could see the tip of Australia, where the craft turned slightly north towards the latest search area.
The pilot and first officers still had their glasses and occasionally the plane descended to the surface. “What’s that,” asked Marquel at the fuzzy image of what appeared to be a passenger jet.
The pilot answered, “wrong jet. That plane went down last summer. We see it every search we make but we were told from the beginning not to bother with it so we don’t”
“Is there some reason for that?” Asked Marquel.
“If there is, we don’t know it. But nobody’s made a fuss so I guess whoever went down with it weren’t missed that much. not like these Chinese who are making such a fuss.” Said the pilot, who suddenly went down to the surface again.
Marquel finished vomiting and said, “what was that?”
“That was a US Navy nuclear sub that sunk two years ago. We see that one all the time too but we’re not supposed to mention it. Something about the weapons still being armed. Everyone is afraid to get near it.”
Marquel was still bumping around the cabin when the plane took another dive. He approached the pilot who told him without being asked, “A group of Somali pirates. There used to be more of them but they tried to take over that sub a few months ago and didn’t know what they’re doing. Used to be about twenty of them, now there’s only six. We always wave and they wave back.”
“It looks to me like they’re calling for help,” Marquel said, “they’re asking to be rescued.”
“No,” said the first officer, “that’s how Somalis wave hello and good bye”
“On their knees like that praying?” Marquel asked. The co-pilot nodded.
After a while the plane again dove to the surface. It looked like a cruise ship, but most of the passengers were lying in heaps on the various decks. Marquel inquired.
“An Italian ferry. It’s loaded down with refugees and ran out of fuel last January. The crew locked themselves in their quarters where I’m told they have three years of supplies.”
“Is nobody going to save them?” Marquel asked.
“We’ve been ordered not to report it for three more years.”
“It sounds like you guys aren’t really in the rescue business,” Marquel remarked.
“No, we do surveillance, not rescue.” The pilot said, diving once more and circling a small pile of aluminium. Suddenly the crew was in high alert, dumping emergency lifeboats, food containers, radios, and life preservers. “What was that all about?” Asked Marquel, “a training exercise?”
“No, that was the real thing. Another surveillance craft went down about fifteen minutes ago. We were lucky to spot them. A ship will pick them up soon.”
“That was lucky,” said Marquel.
“Yes,” he said, “it’s a big ocean. Like searching for a needle in a pile of needles.”
Marquel continued stumbling until they landed and gave him a pair of glasses. It wasn’t until he got back to New York that he realized it was the wrong prescription and must have been the navigator’s. But he looked like a pilot in them so he wears them every day.
***
To feel like a Somali pirate, follow Marquel on Twitter and look at the pictures he posts @MarquelatTPV.
I like your new look – maybe you should have a fashion section.
Liked this: Like searching for a needle in a pile of needles.”
Marquel finished vomiting and said, “what was that?”“That was a US Navy nuclear sub that sunk two years ago. We see that one all the time too but we’re not supposed to mention it. Something about the weapons still being armed. Everyone is afraid to get near it.”
Very ingenious. Great reading
This one wasn’t stylized to be funny. It was very critical. But as Sonja said, it was very well written. I totally got it
Marquel you address a pilot, our pilot. You navigate us through the daily mess of information nonsense. You don’t need any pilot glasses.
loved it. Who’s for ditto?