Home By Marquel Stone Lifting – Athletic Attraction in the Basque Country. Tourists Ask for...

Stone Lifting – Athletic Attraction in the Basque Country. Tourists Ask for Refunds

The New York Times’ foreign correspondent recently bought a world map and wrote: Stone Lifting as Sport in the Basque Country. Marquel, the TPV Times correspondent, discovered the hidden truth: Tourism ministry suggests hide and seek as alternative to build visitor base.

The Basque country, besides being involved in an interminable civil war is, like most countries, facing severe economic challenges. To balance the budget, they need several million more visitors. The problem is that besides the beautiful countryside and fascinating culture, they have few events as a draw, especially sporting events which normally attract thousands in other countries.

The main event for Basques is stone lifting. Basque contests last hours and hours, but all I’ve seen are a lot of people who topple over and one guy still standing holding a boulder of several hundred pounds. It’s a remarkable show of strength but lacks the excitement of, say, a bull fight or even running with the bulls.

Marquel took a flight to Basque country to see what they were doing. I met with the minister of tourism, who was sitting at his desk but holding a stone of at least two hundred pounds as he did his work.

“Getting in shape,” he explained to me.

“You compete?” I asked.

“Everybody here lifts stones. From an early age, even before they can walk.” He said.

“Well that would be quite a sight,” I remarked. “Have you ever thought of having a baby category. I know I’d come to see that.”

“Honestly we never thought of it but it might be worth a try.” He said, jotting it down.

“So what have you tried?” I asked.

“All the obvious things.” He said, as I looked at him encouragingly. “Stone rolling. Stone passing. Stone football and basketball. They all have their problems and didn’t work out.”

“Well I see a pattern that may be hindering you.” I said.

“What’s that?” He inquired.

“Stones.” I said. “Drop the stones. It’s blocking your creativity.”

“We have really tried hard to branch out, he said, “for instance we decided to reverse it and make teams. Tourists like team sports. We thought of stone lifter lifting. Each team tried to lift the entire opposite team. Their are rules including fouls that eliminate players, so at the climax of the game you might have one player lifting seventeen opponents.”

“Another pattern.” I said,  “lifting. Ditch the stones and the lifting. How about running events. They are generally very popular.”

“Well we had one. We had a practice last week. We had fun but we’re not sure of the tourists.” He said.

“Tell me,” I said.

“National hide and seek.”

I asked, “how would that work?

“Basque country is quite small. It would not be hard for all of us to hide in Spain and France.” He said.

“Then what?” I asked.

“The tourists have to go to France or Spain to find a Basque. We would all be hiding in plain sight. It would not be hard for the tourists and a lot of fun.” He said, obviously looking for approval.

“But you want people to come here. Hide and seek would put them in Spain or France.” I noted.

“I had a feeling it was wrong.” He said. “We still have other ideas. One has running. Tag team stone running. We carry a two hundred pounds stone from ONE border, by France, to the opposite by Spain. It would take several days and tourists could follow it on tv as well as see it from a cafe in a nice Basque town. We could have it like the Tour de France so there would be sprints in the mountains, and maybe even a challenging team from some strong country. Germany perhaps.”

“Interesting, but the stone is still there,” I remarked.

“Well we haven’t given up on the alternatives.” He said as he dropped his stone where it left a huge crease in the floor.

I said good bye and went into the street for an espresso. Nobody was around. Not even a waiter. I asked an old lady who seemed to be waiting for a bus.

“I’m sorry” she apologized, “but they’re all hiding in France and Spain.”

“Hide and seek practice?” I asked.

She nodded. “But you already found a Basque!” She explained. I looked puzzled. “Me!”

I tried to look excited. “Want a coffee?” I asked. She agreed and we went in search of an open cafe.

***

If you need help with your summer plans, follow the Man @MarquelatTPV.

TPV Correspondent

Stone Lifting – Athletic Attraction in the Basque Country

7 COMMENTS

  1. Where else can I find your humor and imagination? NOWHERE

    “The tourists have to go to France or Spain to find a Basque. We would all be hiding in plain sight. It would not be hard for the tourists and a lot of fun.” He said, obviously looking for approval.

  2. thanks, I had no idea about these stones. When I think of Basque country I think of their ubiquitous Basquets; don’t they get some kind of economic bump from Easter?

  3. They could try Romancing the Stone, that kind of thing usually helps with tourism, the only reason the GOP is even considering Vegas.

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