American and British spies have infiltrated online fantasy games, says the NY Times, fearing that militants could use them to communicate, move money or plot attacks, documents show. Their biggest fear is that Al Qaeda will end up owning all of the arable land in and around Sim City, Casa Caliente, and Farmtown.
“We’ve made a lot of progress,” said Congressperson John Boehner, whose Senate committee is in charge of fantasy imperialism.
Boehner, whose screen name is God (“Be careful,” he always adds, “it’s case sensitive.”), claims that most of the good land is already in the hands of the Muslim extremists.
“We’re fully engaged. We’ve introduced drones but targeting is very difficult, especially in Farmtown. I can’t tell you how many sheep, chickens, cows, and dogs we’ve hit. Sometimes they’re the only ones around.”
TPV agreed that must be a problem.
“But it’s the kitties. Every time we hit kitties, my email box fills in seconds,” lamented Boehner. “This is the cruelty the Muslims and Arabs and Palestinians and all the anistanis have forced on us. It’s a new world out there.”
We asked.
But isn’t it just a game, a fantasy?
He laughed and said,
You could say that about the entire Middle East, don’t you think?
We said it didn’t seem an accurate analogy.
“Well,” concluded Boehner, “next time the TSA tells you to take your belt off and your pants fall down to your knees, think about whether it’s such a bad analogy.”
He left, holding onto his trousers.
For the Times’ own version of Spies’ Dragnet Reaches a Playing Field of Elves and Trolls, go to http://nyti.ms/1aNPMop
For the French translation of the American spy story, see [youtube id=uh9UvGSp_Pg width= 470 height=315]
Liked: “… Case sensitive.” Are they going to sow the earth with salt?
Another possible Avatar name for Bohner – he looks orange some times – Agent Orange?