Merrill Newman was released after a month of detention in North Korea after expressing regret for his actions during the Korean War, none of which he could remember.
“They asked me why I was there in 52. Honestly I don’t know. I don’t remember ever knowing. I kind of remember that I didn’t know why we were there even then. ”
The North Koreans apparently were not pleased with that answer.
“That’s horse shit,” said Go Rang Gong, North Korea’s intelligence minister, obviously trying for what he thought was the proper English vernacular. “Nobody invades another country without a reason. And it’s not something you would forget.”
This belief in rationality seems to have delayed Newman’s release. “We asked him to apologize. He said ‘for what?’ I told him he invaded our country and threatened to nuke us. He said he remembered that part but couldn’t explain it.”
At that point it became easier because Newman apologized for nuking north Korea.
“We told him he didn’t nuke us and he apologized again. So we asked what he was apologizing for. He said, ‘I guess for not nuking you.'”
The North Koreans obviously think Newman is a bit nuts and not good hostage material.
“We need former soldiers who know what they’re fighting for so they can apologize. But perhaps the Americans are not good hostage material in that sense. Is that whole country nuts?” Asked Gong.
We asked whether North Koreans always have a good reason for doing things. “Oh yes, the Supreme Leader understands everything.”
We then asked Prof. Andrew Cohen, a Korean specialist at Stanford, why the US had invaded Korea in the 50’s. “Beats the heck out of me,” was his only answer.
Meanwhile Newman is back in the States. He says the Koreans, in the end, were very nice and hospitable.
“But I don’t really understand why I had to apologize for not nuking them. What’s with those yellow people?,” Newman rhetorically asked. “They must be nuts.”
For the NY Times’ angle, go to http://nyti.ms/1iJ7VgS.
LIked the flip w/ N Korean