At the start of a week of commemorations, South Africans gathered Sunday to pay homage to the man who embodied the battle against apartheid. Reports abound that he has raised from the dead only three days after his demise.
Sightings are claimed all across the country and as far away as Ukraine and the Kremlin.
“This is just silly,” said Vladimir Putin. “I really can’t say who that dark skinned gentleman was at my breakfast table or how he got through security, but it wasn’t Mandela. He was very pushy. Kept squeezing into the seat right next to mine and saying togetherness is the secret. “
In the Ukraine, sightings were claimed by entrenched protesters.
He was definitely here. He kept asking if we had any mangoes or papayas and when we said we had had nothing to eat at all, he just poof, dematerialized.
In some of the former Ubuntu lands of South Africa, several women claimed to have seen him and even spent the night with him.
“Oh it was him all right,” said one young woman, “I’ve slept with him before. Who hasn’t in this country? And it’s unmistakable. He’s got the moves.”
TPV asked how they could be so sure. One of the young ladies blushed and said,
“you must understand that’s somewhat personal. But he never uses condoms and told me it was a white man’s trick, just like he did several years ago the first time we met.”
She paused and then added,
“Later on in bed I screamed, ‘Oh God,’ and he said, ‘I’m coming,’ but I don’t think he meant he was coming. Know what I mean?”
For more on Mandela, go to http://nyti.ms/1boGIX3.
while I’m impressed as anyone with Mandela, even the “not a saint” stories have been gooey with reverence