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Ay Mamita Mamita

Fewer Children Are Entering U.S. Illegally as Mexico Cracks Down, read Marquel, TPV’s NYTimes Cost of Labor Section correspondent. Marquel realized this was not a development where one could be either for or against. There are dozens of interest groups opposed to it and equal dozens favoring it. Marquel decided to descend into the potpourri and at least see if he could make sense of it.

Talking to the federal department of immigration, they generally approved.

“These are kids. They have sixty years of illegal status ahead of them or more. These are LLIs, we call them, long lasting illegals. The worst kind. By the time half the adult illegals are dead, these kids are still learning more sophisticated methods of theft. This is indeed good news. ” said the Director.

I spoke to Jeb Bush.

“We have a lot of illegals here, mostly picking crops. Now Mexicans generally are good for that because they’re short, closer to the ground, so picking is quicker. They’re already there looking at the eggplant in the eye. But the kids!” He exclaimed, “They live at that level. Talk about low to the ground. They could pick you and me right out the door. This is bad. Bad. Bad for American agriculture.”

I called the American Man boy Love Association, a well established pedophile group which supports consensual underage sex.

“This is disaster. Imagine the children we’ll miss. They’ll miss us too.”

I could hear chanting in the background as if there were a demonstration.

“We want kids. We want kids. We want kids…”

They were chanting and, probably, marching.

He went on, “These are poor kids. And they don’t speak the language. We have money, affection, sex toys, and sometimes condoms. This is cruel and unusual punishment.”

The National Association of Police Chiefs said it was bad.

“It’s a wash. You chase a full grown Mexican, he’s fast and crafty. Hard to catch. The kids are slower and weaker. We usually catch them and that gives us a chance to shoot them. The adults we have to shoot while they’re escaping. It’s more legal but requires marksmanship. I’d rather have kids. This is grossly unfair.”

I spoke to some restaurants around town. Two French, one Italian, four pizza parlors, two Chinese takeouts, and a frites store. All the cooks were Mexicans.

“That’s who we use,” the Italian said. “Superb cooks. The kids wouldn’t work out. First of all they can’t legally work. Secondly they don’t really know how to cook yet. It really doesn’t matter much. Kids. No kids. Who cares?”

I finally talked to the Clinton campaign. They gave me a message from Hillary.

“I love kids. All kids. I hope they’re all right. If I could I’d let them all in. Within the limits of the immigration laws of course.”

I told the guy who brought me the message, “What is your boss talking about. All these kids are illegal. Every one of them. How could Hillary encourage their entry?”

“Remember, Hillary is sometimes female. It’s the sentiment that counts.” He said.

I don’t know if this phenomenon will continue. There are too many people who want them even though there are others who don’t. I learned a little but not much. Illegal aliens, adults and kids, don’t have much voice in their future. Neither do I unless we sell a lot more copies of thePothole.

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By MARQUEL: Ay Mamita, Mamita

5 COMMENTS

  1. I thought you made that shit up, but no, my Man does his research. NAMBLA is a true association.

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