To Mr. Sanders, political schmoozing is a phony business, but by skipping personal interactions when stumping, especially in early states, he risks failing to connect with undecided voters. Marquel was saddened. For the lack of a kiss, Bernie might lose? Marquel determined to shadow Bernie for the rest of the campaign, kissing all those who wanted Bernie.
Not five minutes into his job, Marquel was in handcuffs, then the back of a police car up to the 17th precinct.
“What are you arresting me for?” Asked Marquel.
“Assault and sexual assault.” Said the desk officer.
“That’s ridiculous. I was exercising my first amendment rights supporting a presidential
candidate.” Marquel said.
“That doesn’t include kissing.” He said.
“It does if they asked for it.” Marquel countered.
“Well they say they didn’t.” he said.
“Well they did. I didn’t kiss anybody who didn’t answer yes to my question, ‘do you want a kiss?’ ” insisted Marquel.
“You have proof of that?” He asked.
“I think so.” Said Marquel, pointing to a reporter who had been filming the Sanders event.
The police all converged on the reporter who appeared to be playing back his video. Then they huddled and the sergeant came back to Marquel, shaking his head. “This is a close one and we’re going to let you go this time, Marquel, but no more kissing, okay?”
“Why? They all said yes, right?” Asked Marquel.
“That’s true only technically,” responded the sergeant. “When you asked, you were right next to senator Sanders. They obviously thought you were asking if they wanted a kiss from him, not you.”
“I’ve heard that story before in different situations. I never believe it. People want me.” Said Marquel.
“Well believe it or not, no more kissing standing next to a presidential candidate, okay?” Asked the sergeant.
Marquel reluctantly agreed and walked out, headed for Sanders headquarters in Brooklyn.
“You got arrested trying to support us?” Asked the staff. Marquel told the whole story. “You think he should kiss more babies?” They asked.
“Definitely. Even Hitler kissed babies. And the Germans elected him didn’t they?” Said Marquel.
“Hmm,” they hmmmed in unison. “Well talk to him but he hates schmoozing. Says he likes to stick to the issues.”
“He’s right of course, but people have expectations, and remember those are voters. They like kisses, handshakes, discussing the weather, sharing recipes, cursing the Mets.” Argued Marcel.
- Later in the day, Marquel got a call from Sanders office saying thank you for the advice, sorry about the arrest, and that Bernie would schmooze more.
I went to the next event. It ended. People were hanging around. Babies too. Some aides whispered to him. Suddenly he shook hands with a few. Then he cursed the Mets. People were smiling. I heard something about the best way of keeping pie crust moist. Butter or lard, they argued. The crowd was happy. Bernie smiled. Then he picked up a baby. Kissed the baby. Mother and baby fled, shrieking. I approached to help out but they waved me away. I could hear the aides berating their boss.
“Bernie. Bernie. Kissing yes. French kissing, no!” They cried.Bernie looked hurt. “They don’t like that?”
He asked, running his hands through his hair and slouching a bit more than usual.
***
By MARQUEL: Bernie Would Rather Dance than Kiss Babies
Great piece
I was so frightened they may arrest you Marquel
I am so happy nothing worse happened to you
Loved the end. Go Bernie Go!
Kissing yes. French kissing no. I would say stop the fake kissing.