Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Religion and Blasphemy Section correspondent, was considering purchasing a deodorant, when he read Bodies of French Gunmen Lie Unburied, and, It Appears, Mostly Unwanted. The burial of the three raises a difficult question for France, which in the past has offered a Muslim burial even to those who committed terrorist acts.
One body apiece is to be auctioned off at Christies and Sotheby’s to raise money for the victims’ families. Christies is unable to put an estimate on price as “this is the first time we’ve auctioned terrorists, dead or alive” but they have imposed a minimum bid. They refuse to say how many caricatures of Mohammed will meet the minimum but both auction houses will take “some satisfactorily offensive cartoons in trade.”
Investigators at the police morgue are surprised that the bodies have barely started to stink. “They smelled so bad at the start–you know, Muslims–that the putrefaction actually is an improvement.” Said a police spokesperson. “Did you know the Holocaust never happened?” He asked.
“Just to be gratuitously offensive, I’m Charlie, you know,” he answered.
“Even if it didn’t happen?” He asked.
“That was the point,” he added.
“The Holocaust,” he answered.
“Well, if they’re dead, I’ll take your word for it.” He offered.
“Sure. I’m going.” He said.
“I’ll arrest him if I buy him.” He said.
“I’ll get a raise and a medal.” He said, smiling broadly.
“The French legal system is very strange. I think they could but he’ll be acquitted.” He said.
“Because he’s dead. They say the only good Muslim is a dead Muslim. So they won’t convict a good Muslim.” He explained.
“There’s got to be some bad, dead, Muslims,” he insisted.
“I could get two medals.” He said.
“One for a dead Muslim. One for a bad Muslim.” He said.
***
By MARQUEL: Bodies. The French-Muslim Exhibition
oh, creepy
loved the story
loved the ending
yes. major car accident
why don’t they cremate them? why is it necessary to burry criminals?
loved the story. Well done
ditto