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Bro, I’m Kanye West and You’re Not

TPV received a new letter from Kanye West this morning. It listed 10 reasons why he is Kanye and we are not.

  1. Bro, I have so much money my Neverland Ranch has its own drugstore where me and my daughter go when we want to talk;
  2. Bro, I have so much money I can drink a half a bottle of #Hennessey and give the other half to my buddies whom I call “my audience;”
  3. Bro, I smoke whenever, whatever and never share;
  4. Bro, I am;
  5. Bro, I have a line of clothing and I learned how to sew with a needle and thread. In college;
  6. Bro, I have so much money my wife has her own transgender step father and mother, all in one;
  7. Bro, tomorrow you will forget that I stood here on this stage made of wood I had chosen, but the effect of me having been here will remain like a hangover;
  8. Bro, would I have spoken so much if I were next to my daughter  in the drugstore?
  9. Bro, I will become Donald Trump in 2020;
  10. Bro, I have so much money I can shit on MTV and no one dares to tell me to pull up my pants because I am Kanye West and you are not.

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By DANA NEACSU: Bro, I’m Kanye West and You’re Not