Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Hide and SEEK Section correspondent, was admiring a Chanel skirt when he read France Moves to Clarify the Rules on Full Veil. After an opera house in Paris asked a woman to remove the covering over her face or leave, the Culture Ministry said it would issue guidelines on how to follow the so-called burqa law. Marquel thought that guidelines would be good, but maybe better would be a reason as well. Why weren’t these burqas allowed?
Marquel took the train to the plane, the the plane to the Seine, then the metro to the flic, and finally sat down with Pierre, who explained the situation.
“With the face all covered, like that, ” Pierre explained, “we don’t even know if it is a female or male.”
“Well who cares? She’s just sitting in the opera.” I said.
“But suppose a very orthodox Jew sits next to her or him? They can’t touch the opposite sex.”
“My God,” I said, “so this is all about protecting Jews!”
“Oh no no no no,” he answered,-“that was an example. What if it were a criminal we were chasing? Or perhaps the president of the Republic or his new girlfriend? Don’t you see?”
“Well I see there might be moments of embarrassment but if you weigh it against religious belief and commitment…” I started.
“But that is so unworkable. If we limit it to religious beliefs how are we going to distinguish the believers from the chased criminals, or M le President Hollande?”
“Is that a serious problem?” I asked.
“Oh yes, France is a secular country. Religion is a private matter. We cannot take account of every religious act that people adopt.” He said.
“What do you mean?” I asked, “could you elaborate on that?”
“Certainly. What if spousal abuse were part of the religion? Must we respect it?” He asked.
“That’s not this case is it?”-I asked.
“It might be. Many people believe this is in fact spousal abuse. What if it were genital mutilation? Should we allow it for religion?” He bellowed.
“Well they wouldn’t be doing it in the opera. It’s probably done already. What are you going to do, inspect every female opera patron and replace whatever’s missing?”
“I don’t think that is physically proper. I don’t understand why they want to hide their identity. That is suspicious.” He said.
“Do you think that’s what they’re doing?” I asked.
“How can we know? If so they could wear a mustache. A wig. A beard. Dressed like that, nobody would suspect their identity.” He suggested.
“But this was the Royal Family. Do you expect a Saudi princess to wear a mustache beard and wig?” I asked.
“Maybe one of those Groucho Marx glasses with attached moustaches would suffice.” He asserted.
“But that would be mocking them.” I said.
“Maybe they are mocking us.” He said cryptically.
“How?”-I asked.
“Maybe they are very ugly and fat, not like beautiful French women. They come all covered up to make believe they are as good as us.”
“You mean as good as you?”-I asked, looking at the frumpy overweight, out of shape unshaven detective.
“Well, monsieur, I am not the best example but there is something suspicious here. What are they hiding?” He asked.
“Maybe nothing,” I said, “maybe they just want to make sure nobody mistakes them for overweight frumpy French people.”
“Ah, that was cruel, monsieur Marquel,” Pierre said.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “it wasn’t intentional. It was just a je ne sais quoi.”
“Easy for you to say,” he said.
“Not really” I said as we bid adieu with a very ado three cheek kiss.
I love that.
***
BY MARQUEL: Burka, the New Fashion Fad
[embedyt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q99lPYhVzh0[/embedyt]
Marquel? I missed you. Finally. What happened? Paris or burka?
I missed you too. Please don’t stay quiet for so long!
Oh, burka smurka. Who cares? I don’t. But it’s good to have something to read and laugh at…
Marquel, are you becoming Houdini?
Loved you piece. Loved the Groucho Marx glasses.
Thanks for remembering us
Damn, you’ve got to love the French, they’ve got LAWS forcing women to undress in public!
Oh la la