Marquel, TPVs NYTimes Flea Speech Section correspondent found time to read G.O.P. Field Wrestles With Questions on Islam and the Presidency.
Donald J. Trump’s handling of a question about President Obama’a faith last week rippled through the Sunday talk shows, where his rivals often offered halting responses. Most surprisingly of all, Ben Carson the somewhat rigid neurosurgeon and 7th Day Adventist said Muslims could never be president because Islam is inconsistent with the constitution. Huh?
Marquel felt compelled to contact the Carson campaign, which was located in an Airstream trailer on concrete blocks in the backyard of the local drunk.
“We get a much better lease here than we would in a Trump building, for instance,” was the explanation given.
“So how does it work that we can just ban Muslims from public office?” Asked Marquel. “The Constitution says nothing about such a requirement. It just says you have to be 35, born here, and be white.” Said Marquel.
“White? White?What you mean white? You’re crazy” he said.
“I was just making a point. Just as the constitution says you don’t have to be white, it says you can be any religion you want. Get it? How’d you feel when I said that?” Asked Marquel.
“But Muslims are against the constitution,” he said.
“Well the constitution doesn’t say the president can’t be against the constitution, does it? If so, Lincoln could never have freed the slaves.” Said Marquel.
“But he has to take an oath to uphold the constitution.” he said.
“Maybe the oath says that but the constitution doesn’t. Anyway how are Muslims against the constitution?”
“They have sharia, slaves, beheadings, multiple wives, don’t let women drive, those are all unconstitutional.” He said.
“Not where they do all that. And here you have no Muslims with slaves or beheading people. That’s like saying a Jewish candidate would have to obey Talmudic law. Or JFK had to take orders from the Pope.” Marquel said.
“Well those aren’t real Muslims. Those are American Muslims.” He said.
“I think it might be.” He said.
“This is a Christian nation.” He said.
“Well they weren’t Muslims.” He said.
“Well Christ was a Jew.” He said.
“That’s okay except for Chanukah in the White House.” He said with conviction.
“Well, Christmas. The tree, everything ” he said.
“And resurrection,” he added.
“It’s traditional.” He said.
“No. Of course not. Why do you ask?” He inquired.
“You think so?” He asked.
“Well that’s why we shouldn’t, can’t, have a Muslim president.” He said.
“That would be really fucked up.” He said.
Well how could I argue with that. The headquarters seemed appropriate. An eighty year old form of transportation. An Airstream. No Muslims allowed. A bit behind the times, but not without interest.
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BY MARQUEL: Carsonism on Islam
I read somewhere that Carson proves that you can be an idiot and become a neurosurgeon.
I love the piece, Marquel. I bet Carson talks like that. Actually he would say anything to grab some attention
They are all vying for the second spot.
Yes, the black man or the white woman. Who is more suited to do the military-corporate bidding?
Excellent piece. I can totally imagine Carson talking that nonsense. Thank you Marquel
Pure fun. Pure fuquel!