PotholeView HQ, New York, New York (Studio Cellar-D) via BoobTube
You heard it here first folks, Croshondola is hosting a weekly news round-up, whenever she feels like it, usually when she is too tired to do a full story, but has just enough energy to phone it in for the per diem will be will wired on time.
First up on CDTN: this week it was reported that professional also-ran Mike Jiggily Bits Schmuckabee (f/k/a Governor of Arkansas, n/k/a has-been presidential wannabe inhabited by the soul of amorphous night-gown k/a Kim Davis) sold his/her daughter to the Trump campaign. Croshondola says: what a Tramp!
In Croshondolas opinion, Schumackbee Junior joined the Tramp campaign in an apparent effort to get her dad/mom hired as Tramps right-hand man/woman. Tramp/Schmuckabee 2016, yall.
Second up on CDTN: Cris Crispy has gone back to Old Jersey to return to a life of guvnuhing. This is known to us because Godzilla-size paw prints were discovered dotting the turnpike all the way to the guvnuhs mansion.
Crispy ate too many Crispies on the campaign trail, and therefore requires a larger guvnuhs mansion to fit his presidential-sized appetite. Jersey taxpayers are sure to revolt!
Third up on CDTN: Burt Slanders and Hirrary Crinton are in a statistical dead heat in the Massachusetts race. At first Croshondola was confused by this because she thought Crinton was already post-menopausal, but then she had an a-ha moment dead heat.
Got it. Hash tag Burt Slanders Bros, yall! (wink wink, Pennis)
Fourth up on CDTN: Mark Rufio (because the only way anyone will ever vote for him is if they are roofied), finally decided he was gonna go get him some of Tramp. Thats right, Rufio executed a royal bitch-smacking of Tramps citrus visage, left to right, left to right, hit him again, hit him again.
Rufio had the Presidential Idol: Houston Edition crowd shouting Rufio, Rufio, Ru-fi-oooooohhhhhh!
Welp, thats all tonight folks. Martel told Croshondola all she needed was four news things and the per diem will be wired.
This is Croshondola signing off for now. As always, stay sassy, America.
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