Home Dana Neacsu The Dick Has Spoken

The Dick Has Spoken

Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife Lynne just responded to a public dispute that had erupted between their daughters over gay marriage. Dick said that Liz Cheney, a Wyoming Senate hopeful, had always shared his dickish views and supported traditional marriage while deeply hating her openly gay and better-looking sibling, Mary (not pictured with dad).

“This is an issue we have dealt with privately for many years, and we are pained to see it become public,” Dick and Lynne said adding, “Liz has always believed in the traditional definition of marriage, which means, one dick per family, though in our family we are all dicks, except Mary.”

Finally, Dick added if Mary continued to make problems for Liz, he would change the terms of his will so all his money, and he meant the entire pile of it, would only go to his wife and good girl Liz. Of course, Mary could start showing some compassion to dicks on her Facebook page and dad would take care of her, too.

Mary, TPV is really proud of you, and remember, don’t be afraid! Dad can’t use waterboarding on you as long as you stay here!

[for those too young to remember Cheney’s waterboarding here is the late Christopher Hitchens bravely exposing it to the rest of [youtube id=4LPubUCJv58 width= 470 height=315]

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