Home By Marquel Don’t Cry for Mark, Refugees!

Don’t Cry for Mark, Refugees!

Marquel,  TPVs NYTimes There’s An Idiot Born Every Minute Section correspondent, was happily chewing gum while watching the Pope on TV when he almost chocked on his spit and stopped to read the Times. He read in awe that Mark Zuckerberg Announces Project to Connect Refugee Camps to the Internet.

The connectivity ambitions are at the center of Mr. Zuckerberg’s advocacy effort, Internet.org, whose principal goal is to offer Internet access to about four billion people who cannot afford it.

Zuckerberg plans to personally give everyone landing on the shore of the Greek islands,  a new email address,  “and a free password, too. ” He said. “This should help family reunification,  because now they’ll be able to email each other as soon as they swim to shore,  and families will be reunited.”

“But how well they learn of the email addresses for their close family members?” Asked Marquel.
“Well you always know your family members email, don’t you? I know I do. There’s no reason these Syrians would be different.” He said.
“But you’re giving out these addresses as they swim or float to shore. They’ll never know!” Said Marquel.
#Zuckerberg wiped his brow and sent some messages. Soon his phone was buzzing.
“Aha!” He said. “We are also going to sign each one up on Facebook. So they can friend their families. A simple request will do it.” He said.
Marquel asked, ” But these are refugees. Do you really think they need social media?”
“Everybody needs social media. We’re going to make a special group for them, #Syrianrefugees. This will comfort them. They can post pictures, have discussions. Years from now, with our new history service, they’ll see the posts they made a certain number of years ago. And they can like whomever they want.” He said.
 “So you realize these people have absolutely no money?” I asked.
“What do you mean? Everybody has some money.” He said.
 “No. These people have zero. Nada. Niente. Rien.” I noted
“What are you saying?” Asked Zuckerberg.
“I mean they can’t buy anything on line. They can’t buy anything off line. They can’t buy anything at all.” I said.
“Really?” He said more than asked. Suddenly he was messaging again. In a second his phone was buzzing like a hornets’ nest. He started reading. “We may modify this program,” he said and walked away.
I helped a few people out of the water. I asked if they’d got their email address. They said nothing. I pointed them towards the #Facebook people.
Something was wrong. Nobody looked very happy. Including #Zuckerberg. And the refugees.
By MARQUEL: Don’t Cry for Mark, Refugees


  1. Love your mind. You are so amazingly true. You get the idiots so easily and flawlessly. Bravo.


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