It’s Friday Night and Here’s the News: The Same as before only Newer

Employers added 175,000 jobs to their payrolls last month after creating 129,000 new positions in January, the Labor Department said today, Friday. The unemployment rate, however, rose to 6.7 percent from a five-year low of 6.6 percent.

This contradiction, more jobs but also more unemployment, as the Labor Department explained in an email we received a few hours ago, is not bad at all.

First, the few people with money actually worked more productively by giving some money to the jobless – February has more weekends than any other month.

Second, despite the harsh weather conditions those people with money actually mailed checks to those who worked for them. Despite the very harsh weather conditions and the inhuman cold days people on Wall Street had to survive from the door of their car to the doorman, who then carried them to the elevator whispering wake up lullabies, Wall Street stayed open for business.

Third, the polling is much too inclusive, which is against the wishes of the people with money, and especially their attorneys’ and bankers’. The only jobs people with money want to encourage are (1) the doorman, (2) the lady who does their shoes and breakfast Martini and (3) the guy who paints them going in and out of the pool. Unfortunately, their attorneys also need to pay themselves, and the bankers would like to pay some hookers too. Either way, there is very little need in the job market for people older than 29, while the polling stubbornly includes people way into their 50s, which means love handles, wrinkles, bad knees, loss of hair, and …I will stop.

Under these conditions, as the Labor Department points out, it is amazing that the jobs have increased numerically, even if this is just temporary in preparation of the Fool Day Party on Wall Street. The unemployment, yes, that was expected to go up, and the Labor Secretary said it will continue to go up until we stop polling people older than 29.

Now, that you know the news go clubbing, but avoid Marquel’s monkeys.

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