Giuliani Out of Presidential Race—Unsure of Lunch Plans

Oct 11 (Reuters) – Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani said on Tuesday he will not enter the race for the Republican nomination to run for U.S. president in 2012.

Giuliani said it was too late to run during a luncheon at the Long Island Association, where he participated in an interview with the group’s executive director, Kevin Law.

 Oct 12 (AP) – Former House Majority Leader Dick Gephardt said on Wednesday that he will also not be seeking his party’s nomination to run for president in 2012, but is keeping his options open for a bid to become his condo association’s treasurer in 2014.

Oct 13 (BBC News) – Former Prime Minister and current underwear model Tony Blair announced he would not run for Serbian Parliament this year, unless Ratko Mladic sends him a fruit basket and personal note written on green stationery begging him to do so.

Oct 14 (Agence France-Presse) – Current French Prime Minister Nicholas Sarkozy, forgetting that he already is Prime Minister, announced that he would attempt to unseat the current PM in the next round of elections. He also announced plans for a double-date next week on the Champs-Elysees with fellow Gallic heartthrob Dominique Strauss-Kahn (their respective wives will not be accompanying the two gentlemen).

Oct 15 (CNN) – Former major league pitcher Randy Johnson announced that he will not attempt a comeback this year, but warned TV cameras and reporters to stay away as he has started a new steroid regimen, “Just in case I change my mind.”

Mr. Johnson is also running for president as a Republican, and is expected to easily place ahead of Newt Gingrich in the New Hampshire primary.

Potholeview writer Rufus Davis, who compiled the above news releases, will not be seeking a nomination to run for president, but he will be seeking distraction from coverage of Major League Baseball’s playoffs after the disaster that befell his team this fall. He is also hoping that both Donald Trump and Sarah Palin change their minds, form a third-party, and tell fantastic stories about American History on all their campaign stops.

RUFUS DAVIS